Eddie Vedder wrote "Better Man" before joining Pearl Jam while he was still in his teens. He performed it with his previous band, a San Diego-based group called Bad Radio.
This song is about a woman who settles for the man she has because she doesn't think she can do any better. Vedder had his stepfather in mind when he wrote it. After Eddie's biological father died, his mother remarried, and Eddie thought she did it only because she needed someone to help support the family.
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At some concerts, Vedder has dedicated this to "the bastard who married my mother."
Pearl Jam played this song at rehearsals for their second album, Vs., in 1993 but didn't record it until a year later for their Vitalogy album. Their producer, Brendan O'Brien, came on board for Vs., and when he heard them play it in rehearsal, he gave them what he thought was good news: The song was a hit!
O'Brien didn't get the reaction he expected. "They all just looked straight down, and the whole room was deflated," he said in the Pearl Jam compilation Twenty. "I knew I'd said the wrong thing."
"It was a very personal song for Eddie, and one of the first songs he'd written," O'Brien continued. "He didn't want to hear that it was a big smash hit. I learned something very valuable. At that point, I didn't know Eddie that well."
O'Brien tried to coax Vedder into recording the song for Vs., but was rebuffed. He had to wait for Vitalogy when Eddie was ready.
Eddie Vedder plays guitar on this track, so at the beginning, it's just him. This creates a rather intimate moment during live performances, as he's often the only person on stage for the first minute or so, and the crowd inevitably sings along - sometimes Vedder will go silent and let the audience take a whole verse. When the full band joins in, it swells with energy. It's always a highlight of their concerts.
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At one point, Eddie Vedder tried to give this song to Greenpeace for a charity record. His plan was to have the band record the track with Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders on vocals. They even had a session at Skywalker Ranch studios, but Hynde didn't show, so those plans were scuttled to the relief of Vedder's bandmates who really wanted it as a PJ song.
"Better Man" is one of Pearl Jam's most popular songs, but it wasn't sold as a single in America - you had to buy the album if you wanted it. This made it ineligible for the Hot 100 but the song went to #1 on the Mainstream Rock chart, where Pearl Jam was a much better fit. The song got a lot of radio play and advanced to #13 on Billboard's Airplay chart.
The Vitalogy album was released as a vinyl record two weeks before it was issued on CD. Vinyl was completely outdated and not yet retro-cool, but many people still had record players and Pearl Jam liked the imperfect sound, with the scratches and blips providing a different listening experience each time.
A turning point for "Better Man" came when Pearl Jam performed it at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta on April 3, 1994. This was no ordinary show: It was broadcast live on about 300 radio stations, giving many fans their first live listen to the band. It was also just the third time Pearl Jam performed the song, and the response was overwhelmingly positive. This helped convince Vedder to record the song and integrate it into their setlists.
"Better Man" was nearly pulled from the album at the last minute when Eddie Vedder got cold feet. The song was already recorded and mastered, but Eddie decided the first chorus was too elated, sending the wrong message. Brendan O'Brien talked him into redoing the first verse and chorus with just Eddie's voice and guitar, and Brendan's organ. Eddie was happy with their new recording, but splicing it into the master was a challenge for engineer Nick DiDia, who became an unsung hero when he pulled it off, making it sound seamless.