Album: Gordon (1992)

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• If I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well I'd buy you a house
  (I would buy you a house)
  And if I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  I'd buy you furniture for your house
  (Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman)
  And if I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well, I'd buy you a k-car
  (A nice reliant automobile)
  And if I had a million dollars
  I'd buy your love.
  
  If I had a million dollars
  (I'd build a tree fort in our yard)
  If I had a million dollars
  (You could help it wouldn't be that hard)
  If I had a million dollars
  (Maybe we could put that little tiny fridge in there somewhere)
  
  Spoken:
  We could just go up there and hang out, like open the fridge and stuff.
  And there would be food just laid out for us,
  Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things,
  They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
  Well can you blame 'em? haha yeah!
  
  If I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
  (But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
  And if I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
  (Yep, like a llama or an emu)
  And if I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
  Oooo all them crazy elephant bones)
  If I had a million dollars
  I'd buy your love.
  
  If I had a million dollars
  (We wouldn't have to walk to the store)
  If I had a million dollars
  (We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more)
  If I had a million dollars
  (We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner)
  
  Spoken:
  But we would eat Kraft dinner
  Of course we would we'd just eat more of it,
  And buy really expensive ketchups with it
  That's right all the fanciest ketchup... dijon ketchup (mmmmmm)
  
  If I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well, I'd buy you a green dress
  (But not a real green dress that's cruel)
  And if i had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well, I'd buy you some art
  (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
  If I had a million dollars
  (If I had a million dollars)
  Well, I'd buy you a monkey
  (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
  If I had a million dollars
  I'd buy your love.
  
  If I had a million dollars (x5)
  I'd be rich!! Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 21

• Ben from Janesville, Wiits a guy having a conversation with himself and practicing what he would say if he was talking to a girl
  (I do this all the time, I usually doesn't work)
• Larry Fyffe from New BrunswickcanadaJames Wayne: Junco Parker
  
  "Well, if I had one million dollar....I buy me a...."
• Debra from United StatesNo Dan, you are mistaken. Mr. Jackson NEVER bought or owned Joseph Merricks Remains. Actually, he never even offered for them, because they were never for sale. It was English Trashy Tabloids who created that bogas story, and idiots believed it.
• Jan from Byfield, MaA happy and silly song. It makes me smile today, as it did the first time I heard it. And smiling is a good thing.
• Jason from Dayton, OhAnother painfully corny song from an awful, white bread, steaming pile of turd band.
• Ed from Incognito, IlOne of the funnier songs by a highly underrated group!
• Dedgrotty from Nyc, NyRE Kraft Dinner: Those in the know don't throw
• Nick from Murrieta, CaI love this song.
  
  Of course, now they DO have a million dollars...
  
  Wonder how their emu is doing... Hope it's friends with the monkey...
• Darrell from EugeneThe Reliant was indeed one of the K cars, which saved Chrysler, and the Chrysler minivans were based on the K car, thus saving people from buying unreliable, ugly Ford Aerostars and Chevy Astros. In addition, there was a car manufacturer in Tamworth, England called Reliant, and it had no connection whatsoever to Chrysler. Reliant (the company) built mostly 3-wheeled cars with pre-WWII Austin engines and English Ford engines. There were also Nissan- and Ford-powered sports cars. Reliant went out of business in 2001. The K cars were discontinued in 1989.
• Dave from Scottsdale, AzThe Pre-wrapped bacon/ tree fort part sounds like Bob & Doug MacKenzie
• Beau from Phoenix, AzI love the wordplay in this song.
• Nathan from From The Country Of, CanadaI think the funniest line is "I'd buy you some art, a Picasso or a Garfunkle" or "I'd buy you a green dress, but not a real green dress thats cruel" haha
• Allan from Vanderhoof, CanadaI think the line "I'd buy you a K car, a nice reliant automobile" is actually another example of the wordplay these guys love to use. If I'm not mistaken, the Reliant was one of the K cars. so the line works both ways.
• Dan from New York, NyMichael Jackson, having a history of collecting...unique items, did buy the elephant man's bones. In all likelyhood, they are referring to it. Seriously, who would buy 'em unless they wanted to study them? Guy's a bonafide loon(and that says nothing about his music, i'm just saying he's crazy)
• Jen from Ontario, Canadai heard that they were making fun of michael jackson becuase he bought the "elephant man's" bones, or something like that
• Rob from Vancouver, CanadaThey still eat Kraft dinner
• Jonathan from Toronto, CanadaIn the song they said "I'd buy you a K Car, a nice reliant automobile." as an homage to a leaders car they used to sing about when in Scouts in Toronto as kids.
• Candice from Vancouver, CanadaThis should be used in a lottery commercial.
• Annabeth from Kutztown, PaBNL loves performing this song because the lyrics are easily changed, so they can put in just about anything they wish. Listen to Rock Spectacle and witness them in action.
• Keith from Slc, UtThe first time I heard this, I thought it was from the Smothers Brothers.
• Jamie from Surrey, Canadaon one of the cassetes, after the line "i would buy you a monkey..." steven replies to the line with "I'll take mickey dolenze please" but on every other version you hear "haven't you always wanted a monley?"

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