Album: Whatever and Ever Amen (1997)

Charted: 26

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• Six AM day after Christmas
  I throw some clothes on in the dark
  The smell of cold
  Car seat is freezing
  The world is sleeping
  I am numb
  
  Up the stairs to her apartment
  She is balled up on the couch
  Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
  They're not home to find us out
  
  And we drive
  Now that I have found someone
  I'm feeling more alone
  Than I ever have before
  
  She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
  Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
  She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
  
  They call her name at seven-thirty
  I pace around the parking lot
  Then I walk down to buy her flowers
  And sell some gifts that I got
  
  Can't you see
  It's not me you're dying for?
  Now she's feeling more alone
  Than she ever has before
  
  She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
  Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
  She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
  
  As weeks went by
  It showed that she was not fine
  They told me "Son it's time to tell the truth"
  And she broke down and I broke down
  'Cause I was tired of lying
  
  Driving back to her apartment
  For the moment, we're alone
  Yeah, she's alone and I'm alone
  And now I know it
  
  She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
  Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
  She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly Writer/s: Ben Folds, Darren Jessee
  Publisher: Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
  Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 107

• Not Jonathon from AustralianJonathon, what a remarkably judgemental and holier than thou statement. I think anyone as depraved as to force an unwanted child into the world, is deserving of being aborted themselves, post birth. What a privileged lifestyle you must live, to never have to make those choices or ask these questions. What a f--ked up country you live in, where you dictate outcomes for those you don’t know, judge their mistakes against a code you personally subscribe to on their behalves. Sounds just as bad as sharia law, just with a different god head name and book.
• Kirk from OttawaYou don't need to have experienced this to understand the song, although I imagine that works make it more impactful.
  
  I love the song, but it is very sad. I disagree with the comments that say he is blaming his girlfriend. I just think he feels helpless to help her despite his efforts.
  
  Feeling helpless to help a loved one is a very heavy burden.
• Ana from TexasI totally can relate to this song. It makes me cry every time I listen to it. That experience will haunt me for the rest of my life
• AshFor someone who has been through this I knew this was what the song was about. Only I was pregnant with someone's child who led me to believe we were being safe and then kept asking if I was pregnant after he held a knife to my throat and almost killed me and smashed my head off a washing machine. Dark times. This song is almost hard for me to listen to.
• Devon from Galveston I think it’s pretty f--ked up that he’s basically blaming her the entire song.
• Anonymousall this time I thought the song was about a miscarriage, my fiance and I have been through too many to feel any sympathy for a couple of "scared confused teenagers" who chose to abort their unborn child
• Hugh from Phoenix, AzThis song is just a narrative. It does not take a position. "Here is what happened.." I like that about it.
• Jonathan from Rigby, IdOh, and Ben Folds: Nice music. But you didn't "HAVE TO GET" an abortion - you ABORTED.
• Jonathan from Rigby, IdWARNING: some people reading this post may find it too blunt for their personal comfort, so you may either put your head on your shoulders and grow some thicker, proverbially "pragmatic" skin; or skip this post.
  
  @Kirsty, Newcastle Australia - Can I just ask: How is it possible to have an "unexpected pregnancy"? Let's look at this logically:
  
  
  Penis + Vagina = Sperm in the vagina and uteris.
  
  Sperm in the vagina and uterus + female egg = fertilized egg.
  
  Fertilized egg = Developing, growing organism.
  
  Developing, growing organism = a growing developing fetus that has as many infinite combinations of probable outcomes as you do.
  
  And might I add that one of the key factors of whether or not something is "classified" (ctrl+f "Abby, Townsville, Australia") as an organism is the fact that IT IS ALIVE. It has the capacity to grow and develop and self actuate independent of the will of other self actuating entities. You say that it's the mother's choice?! Tell me: Does the woman who is pregnant have the willful power to tell the fetus to stop growing, Yes or No? Think about that one for a second. Maybe two, if you're currently feeling particularly slow.
  
  
  @Andy, Voorhees NJ - a pregnancy would have ruined their plans??? Do you realize how selfish you sound? Do you know what kind of state society devolves to when men and women act compulsively on their own illogical, self-absorbed notions without taking into serious consideration the aftereffects of those actions (i.e. how they will feel and how that will affect their future behavior, others perceptions and how that will affect their feelings and future actions ETC.)? Grab a history book. Or better yet, think about that for the rest of the day and go to bed tonight with the intent that when you wake up tomorrow you will wake up with your EYES OPEN; that when you look at the people around you tomorrow, you will look to SEE. (definition of SEE: 1)to perceive with the eyes; look at. 2)to perceive (things) mentally; discern; understand) Anyone whose motives are primarily selfish makes a poor and irresponsible citizen of ANY country, nation, or society they live in.
  
  
  @J-F, San Francisco, CA, CA "[abortion is] a difficult, growth experience for sure"...........Sorry. But I'm just trying to keep myself from swearing at you and calling you all sorts of demeaning names, half of which I'm sure would be unfair and undeserved. Don't you agree that feelings of shame and guilt and depression and fear are BAD THINGS? Judging by the fact you have had two abortions yourself I'm assuming you are a woman; I can't imagine you are so stoic as to ignore the importance of emotion in the constitution of a healthy human being. Have you ever thought about the functionality of feelings like "pain"? Pain is experienced when tissue is BEING DESTROYED. So it's a useful feeling if you "listen" to it. Why do you think so many people that suffer mental and emotional anguish, many of them highly literate and erudite, describe those feelings as ultimately "painful"? If feelings like those are the NATURAL RESULT experienced by women, and men, involved in abortions, then by implication of you're statement, you believe them to be good feelings. This would characterize you, madame, as being definitively depraved. Feel free to look that one up. People that abort a developing fetus have these feeling; whether they are atheists, Taoists, Buddhists, Muslim, Jewish, Unitarian, Christian, or humanist. If you don't know the general concepts of these forms of religious thought and how they relate to this subject I would highly recommend you to wikipedia and a piece of pen and paper for writing down notes and thoughts.
  This is getting long so basically what I'm trying to say to you is: same thing I said to Andy.
  
  And to ALL of you and anyone else who currently thinks like you, I would say this:
  "Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want."
  --- Mother Teresa
• Kimberly from Landing, NjShe is the into to realize. , As does the intelligent maters oppose . Ty Nicole, NE. Very true to form., Kimberly
• Shawn from Green Bay, WiThis song is getting way more comments than it deserves.
  
  It is an incredibly raw and simplistic song about a guy who realizes he really doesn't love his girl.
  
  The fact that the event in the song is an abortion has prompted all the discussion, but really, the song has nothing to do with that.
  
  I give it props for uniqueness but it is sung with zero emotion and is somewhat boring.
• Cifey from Houston, Tx"Can't you see, Its not me your dying for"
  This is about blaming the abortion on the parents and wanting to keep his girlfriend.
  He doesn't get that it is the end of their relationship until the drive home.
  They were scared kids trying not to get caught, but not fully comprehending the depth of the situation until too late.
  He never talks directly to the fetus as that's a pain you can't sing about.
• Terry from Colchester, VtGreat, great song. Too bad there are so many small-minded people commenting on it.
• Gina from Denver, Cowow big woop a guy attempted to write an empathetic song... how many babies DON'T you have right now mister? you dont have to go home but you can't stay here...omg you are so prolific, how many journals did you have to swipe? oh well, i guess,someone had to give john mayer a foreplay ground to gross me out upon. Also...btw...the Digiable Planets already had an "Appointment At The Fat Clinic" (1993) if men could have babies i wouldn't be here!!
• Sumner from Philadelphia, Pa**i meant spina bifida, not heart surgery. if you want to check it out http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/b/babysamuel.htm
• Sumner from Philadelphia, Pafirst of all i love this song, it is personal, lovely to listen to, and has deep and thoughtful lyrics.
  this political s--t isn't want ben wanted in the first place and this shouldn't be the place to air out all that.
  and BLAKE from london, you have that picture story completely wrong.
  the doctor wasn't doing an abortion when that picture was taken (and i know exactly the one you were talking about)
  the doctor was doing heart surgery on the baby to save it's life when it grabbed his finger.
  before you start spreading propaganda and forcing your beliefs (which don't really matter since you can't get pregenant)
  you should check your facts first.
• Danielle from Auckland, New ZealandThis song is so beautiful.
  I had an abortion in 2009, it was and always will be the biggest mistake of my life. Its not any easy thing to go through and its not for anyone else to tell you if its right or wrong, the choice is very much an individual one but the suffering a lot of people feel afterwards is unbearable and not something that you can even begin to imagine unless you have been down this raod. People that havent really have no right to comment on the rights or wrongs of abortion.
• Ceecee from Salinas, CaThe part about how, now she's alone & I'm alone & now I know it. I always took that a different way. I had an abortion when I was young that I regret. I was always aware while I was pregnant that I was not alone. There was a little soul inside my body & I was always aware it was there with me. After the abortion, I was alone. There was no baby there with me, my baby was gone. My baby was dead. It was an empty, awful feeling, but those words describe it well.
• Kari from Knoxville, TnI LOVE this song, but I am disturbed by one of the above comments. Sorry to say it Abby from Austrailia, but you are the idiot. I am imflamed by your thought that adopted children have horrible lives and end up on the street. My niece is adopted and her life is far from horrible. Many adopted children grow up to go to college, in fact in most cases they are more likely to go to college. I am not saying that abortion is a sin or anything like that, but people need to recognize that it's an emotionally traumatic experience (as illustrated in this beautiful song) and there are other options. I have to give Folds huge props on not making this a big political issue. Many bands would have made the song sound like a political protest or "preachy." They took the high road.
• Chenelle from Tampa, United KingdomI heard this song in school and cried...I had to do an analysis on it and I couldn't believe the pain and emotion from this.
• Cindy from La Plata, MdI might be one of the oldest people to comment on this song. I'm fifty. I almost wish I didn't know the exact reason that the song was written about. Because I don't think that it was meant to be a pro this or that, it's about pain, it's about life and death. There are many situations in my life that this song has fit, and hearing it helps me through the emotions of what I'm going though. My husband was a closet alcoholic, he was my brick, he finally admitted that he had a problem after flipping his brand new payed off Ford F-150 crew cab across the Washington Beltway, he suffered a traumatic brain injury (closed head injury) after leaving shock trauma I had to drive him for special brain scans everyday for two weeks. There were times that I hated him, and I was alone, he suffered partial amnesia for almost everything over the previous 7 years, he slowly regained all but about three years of memory. But the horrible thing about a head injury is he couldn't remember what was the truth and what he had lied about, so all his dark secrets came to light. Like cheating on me for the previous two years while I was going through chemo. I relate to the drowning slowly because I didn't have a choice in the matter. Their was no one else to take care of him, to take him to the doctors appointments and he cried for about 6 weeks straight. We didn't know if it was from the head injury, facing his demons or the fact that my father died four days after the accident. After two weeks we found out that part of it was he knew a two grown children but the last he remembered they were 10 and 13 years old, not adults. We were both very alone in the same car, I know the pain. Thank God he didn't kill anyone. But in a way he did he killed me, a part of me will never be the same again. I know the feeling of almost wanting that brick to take you all the way down to just drown.
  This song is so deep in the pain of so many things that we go through in life, like caring for an aging parent, or a sick child or worse a dying child, it speaks of the pain of loving someone that you can't really help like a daughter-in-law that is Bi-polar and self medicating instead of being honest and getting real help, I've been there to, I've watched the brick become bigger and bigger around my son neck, while he tried to take care of a new-born and a 2 year old, he was alone in the same room with her, she wasn't capable of being honest and he didn't know what to do, the oldest child wasn't his biological and he could just walk away and leave her behind. It's that kind of painful love. She ended up totalling his car while it was uninsured because she had spent all the money in his account during a manic binge, earlier that day he found out that his insurance had lapsed and he made arrangements to have the insure reinstated, it would be insured as of midnight, she wreaked it at 12 minutes before midnight and was arrested with a alcohol level 2 and a half times the legal limit. My son almost lost his high security clearance job. That weekend we drove two hours back to my place with the girls, everyone very quite we agreed for the girls sakes to speak kindly and softly so they would not know what was going on they were excited to be going to grandmom's and having a rode trip. That night while my son stayed with the sleeping girls I drove her to a treatment facility, where she was finally put on the right medication and hasn't had a drink since. But the brick is still there everyday as he works to provide for the girls, worry about if she's going to start drinking again and paying for a car that he can no longer drive. I still feel the brick of fear for my husband and now my son's family adds three more bricks as I have had to let him use my SUV until he can afford to buy another car. My point is this song is about life and the hard things that we have to go through for the people we love and the relationships that will never be the same again. I never got to grive fully for my father, some times life can take so much from us that we are numb and feeling all alone while surrounded by people. When my husband and I were first married thirty years ago I had a miscarriage at 6 and a half months pregnant, it was a wound that my husband could not relate to, it was such deep pain that I had to let her go to save myself it took three years, my baby didn't mean to but she was a brick and I was drowning slowly. When I finally let go and let God into my pain could I feel again and rise above the water and know that she was in good hands, even if they were not my own.
  Ben very brave and very raw have you discribed your pain and the pain of so many others because of your honesty in putting to words your pain, you have help people that you will never meet to deal with their bricks and hopefully letting go of the bricks that can take us to deeply under, and to have compassion for our loved ones as they deal with their own very heavy bricks. I hope that you know that God loves you and your teenage girlfriend very much and he doesn't want so much to judge as he wants to forgive and hold you and comfort you. Yes, God does forgive and he know that we are only human all we have to do is reach out and accept his love and just like you I imagined apologized to her family and yours that's all god expects from you, you will see your child one day and all tears will be dried.
  When I had my miscarriage I wrote:
  She Was
  She was born,
  but not allowed to Live,
  She was loved but not allowed to Love,
  She met death and was not allowed to cry,
  Why the tears weld up in me,
  But we can not set them free,
  If only WE knew why we wouldn't need to cry.
  
  Yet another example of feeling all alone, we go through experiences together but yet so differently, the same experience affects us all so differently that we might was well be on two different islands sometimes. I feel like a kindred-spirit on your road to recovery and overcoming.
• John from Airdrie, AbI believe that the lyric "its not me your dying for" refers to his relationship with the girl, not the child. He was not the one she was meant to be with, the one she was looking for.
• John from Notre Dame, InI am wondering if there might be an oblique reference here to Matt18:6 "But if you cause one of these little ones who trusts in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the sea."
• Abby from Townsville, AustraliaI think this is a beautiful song... Sad, but all the more beautiful for being about something that heartbreaking.
  Oh, and about the whole abortion issue: It's a woman's body. Its her right to choose to terminate the baby's "life." If you think abortion is murder, you're a freaking idiot. Murder is the unlawful killing of another human being. To actually prove murder you must prove that 1) the killing occurred unlawfully, and secondly, that the person killed was in fact alive and a person at the time. A foetus is not classified as a human being, as it is not able to actually perform the simplest of tasks, breathing for itself. Hence, abortion isnt murder.
  And seriously, abortion is a realistic option that's fair to both parties. Think about it. If you decide to instead give the kid up for adoption, it's life will be horrible anyway. Most children who are given up for adoption end up on the streets, or spend their early years in child services homes. It's not fair to the child to give birth to it if it has nowhere to go.
  Their supposed "right to life" doesnt even compare to the rights of the mother to make a decision based on her best interests.
  I'm not trying to offend anyone, but that's my opinion. I'd support abortion in 99% of cases.
• Dominic from Chicago, IlI hate that this is becoming a soapbox for people to talk about there views and how people should change. I have my opinion just like everyone else. But I just wanted to comment because this is such a great song probably the in the Top 5 all time greatest.
• Tegan from Newcastle, AustraliaPlease end the debate. This is not the place. Thankyou.
• Reagan from St Cloud, Mnfor people arguing about weather its the right or wrong choice.. its not what ben folds five intended for. take the song how you want but its truly touching, especially for those being through similar situations as myself. why is everyone judging other people commenting?? you dont know every detail of their situations but i feel for everyone who has to choose. hardest choice of your life and the regret is the worst to live with. "cant you see its not me your dying for" is the best line in my opinion. i think he is trying to say the unborn baby is dying because they know they would get nowhere in life if they were to parent this child and he wants him/her to know he doesnt want to seem selfish but that they thought it was the right choice for them. sad, touching song
• Tanya from Houston, TxMy boyfriend and I had an abortion about nine months ago. It ended up being the biggest mistake of my life. I'm not here to bash on anyone who has had an abortion...but, I can't help but plead that you if you haven't and are think about it that you consider that there is a little bit of you and a little bit of him inside you. I've spent many nights feeling alone and hurt. I honestly can't describe the pain that is experienced after abortions. My boyfriend and I survived and stayed together, but it was only through the grace of God that we have been able to keep living life as we should and not as ghosts. This song describes the feelings well, but no one will ever know what really goes on emotionally until they've been through it-it's not worth it guys.
• B from Sydney, Australiai think its so stupid that this gets turned into a political arguement over peoples beliefs and what not.
  this song neither promotes abortion, or condemns it, it is an honest account about how he was feeling at the time and how much he hurt over the situation.
  it is a personal experience, and its something that alot of women and their partners go through... but at the end of the day, it is a song and it wasnt meant to start a pro life, pro choice debate.
• Llyle from London, United KingdomYvette, for your inforation, I highly doubt that anyone who does not support abortion, supports the death penalty. You are right, it is hippocritical and I reproach those who believe that way.
  But I would like to tell you, the fact that you haven't been aborted, whether you were given up for adoption or not, means that you must be here for some specific purpose. It can take time to find out this purpose but you cannot afford to doubt that it is there. If you were given up at birth, then there's nothing to say that your mother didn't want you. I hope I don't sound impertinent. I know that I can't even begin to imagine the stuff you have been through but no matter what, abortion should never be an option. My best friend's mother tried to abort him, he survived and has grown up with his father after she left. He actually have the misfortune of possessing a memory of the ordeal and he can't even begin to describe the pain.
  On another note, it's not fair to say that men can't have a say in this issue. What about the unborn babies? No one asks them if they want to be killed. And if they did, excuse me for being blunt, I suppose a few of them like you would consider suicide if they knoew what was in store for them. I guess my point is that, for the sake of the unborn baby, it should have the right to live because it has a purpose in life, and has every right to fulfill it. One last thing, why the hell do you women go getting pregnant in the first place if you don't even want the baby and, even more, aren't married to the guy? THAT is another example of being hippocritical, Yvette.
• Jade from Cancun, MexicoPURPOSE OF MUSIC-to comfort some while they are in their darkest hours....... and just to piss others off i dont care what anyone says this song is FASTIDIOUS
• Yvette from San Antonio, TxI hate that this has turned into a political debate but I had to put my two cents in. First I wonder how many of these pro-lifers who are so adament in their statements on how wrong abortion is, I wonder how many of them are for the death penalty.....kinda hypocritical..... In addition as a child who was put up for adoption, do any of you who claim adoption is the way to go know what it is like to live in an orphanage and feel completely unwanted and wish you had just been aborted? Many kids do not even get adopted until they are in there teens or not at all. Do you see how many horrible parents there are out there who have no business what so ever raising kids? And when social services step in, I can guarantee most of those foster homes are horrible experiences. If not walk through a Doller store or hell even wallmart and pay attention. And yes it is a women's right to choose and men have no business what so ever to comment on this subject. Like someone else mentioned before me, if men were the ones having babies there would be no issue, abortions would be an everyday thing. So all of you there on your high horses need to get off them and use that thing called a brain!!!! Also just a fact to throw in there, this country was not founded as a religious country it was founded to escape religious persicution, hmmmmm obviously some people need to learn to pay attention in history class........
• Blake from London, United KingdomI don't think that all that pro-life stuff is actually political. It has probably been stereotyped as so, but isn't really. It's more like the right to life and the morals and ethics about whether it is right to deprive that embryo of further life. These morals, whatever they are for whatever person, are engraved on the hearts of people, therefore cannot be truly connected to something like politics. However, there still is a right (as in correct). I don't think that it's a matter of privacy or what you personally think, because when there is another life involved and in potential danger, someone has to put their foot down to protect that life.
• Dan from Charlotte, NcI hate this thread turned political. He sang about a very personal experience. Don't take a stand and judge until you are placed in this position. When you fight through it no matter what side you'll have an understanding for the emotion involved.
• Blake from London, United KingdomBy the way, what does it mean when it goes, and she broke down and I broke down? Does that mean-what-they disintergrate? I've never understood that part
  
• Blake from London, United KingdomLook, Jesse, I am sorry if I have offended you or anyone else for that matter, I guess I could have been a bit bleak. All I'm really trying to put across is that the human life, which is priceless and something to be celebrated, should be preserved. I respect the decisions of females, although I will probably never understand them, because...well...obviously, I'm never about to get pregnant but I want to encourage them to carry the baby for their sake in the future and obviously the baby's. With the right support and encouragement any girl is strong enough to see themselves through a time like that and so avoiding the mistake of terminating a human life. Although, I see that society has a long way to go, in helping these poor girls who get pregnant without wanting or expecting it. And I would like to acknowledge that I am well aware that many families would not tolerate a girl like that in their household, and so turn them out, making life even more difficult for the girl. So it really starts with family support. Having abortion is not necessary as it is destructive and I am certain that any given female is strong enough to make the correct decision and not murder their own child before it is even born. By the way, i assure you that I enjoy the song very much. I can listen to it one hundred times and not get tired of it.
• Jesse from Hobart, AustraliaBlake of Uk, I'm guessing from your name you're a guy. Typical. It's a female's body, so it's a female's decision. Back off and stop trying to shove your righteous opinions down everyone's throats.
  
  Ben Folds said that he was never pro OR anti abortion, it was just how he felt at the time. Maybe you should share that sentiment and just enjoy a beautiful song, instead of dragging ugly politics into it.
• Blake from London, United KingdomBy the way Holly from Boothbay, I think that Kara from Wichita has a right in expressing herself and also, the Pro-life principles can be totally disconnected from God and religion, because it is a FACT that from the moment of conception the embryo is still a person. It takes a certain amount of depth to understand this and I think that everyone is capable of doing it and thinking about it but not everyone is brave enough to look within themselves and find this depth.
  One more thing, you didn't have to read Kara's comment and you were not technically harassed because she didn't direct the comment directly to you and you didn't have to take it personally.
  
• Blake from London, United KingdomI read your comment Sophie and want to say that I am HIGHLY against abortion because from the very moment of conception that embryo in your womb is a person. Many people fail to see this, i don't know why. When you have abortion you are killing-sorry-MURDERING a human being and therefore abortion is wrong. We don't go around killing people because they're- what? inconvenient? difficult to handle? It's a sign that you're just selfish and I can freely admit that I have never been in a situation like that obviously, but I don't think that being in the specific situation should change your views on this. If you were stupid enough to go and get pregnant then at least be good enough to carry the little miracle around for nine months. Believe me, the joy of having a little baby outweighs all the pain of the nine months.
  
  It's been proven that having abortion has negative effects on your mental health, even as you grow up. You will see many young couples with a little child and the memories of having murdered your own little one will haunt you. Guilt. You may think that it's harmless, having abortion, it will be over and you'll be sure not to have sex like that again, but no. The person that you would have so cruelly deprived of a chance at life will remain with you. And I'm not talking about any shallow ghost thing... seriously, you feel guilty in the future of having gone through with abortion and you'll find yourself asking, "What if I did carry that baby?" "What if I did have it?"
  
  There have been countless cases of pro-abotionists (if that's the right word) turning against it. For example there was this doctor (excuse me for not knowing the details but if you google it you'll be sure to find it) who was letting this girl have abortion. As he was doing whatever you do in there (I wouldn't know) he had the ultrasound (or whatever) and was listening. He head the baby cry and on the screen you could see its vague shape pushing away the machine with its feet. that changed the doctor forever, for he realised that, no matter how small, undeveloped or young, it was still a person. There was another case where a doctor was operating on a baby in the womb and the baby stuck its hand out and held onto the doctor's hand for a couple of minutes. There was this photographer in the room (don't ask me why) who supported abortion and after he took the photo of the tiny hand clasping the doctor's finger, he forgot the beliefs.
  
  Abortion is clearly wrong for if we go and kill our own babies what is left but for you to kill me and me to kill you?
• Sophia from Baltimore, Mdi never post on these and i doubt anyone will ever read this, but to everyone who has gone through an abortion and thinks they're life with whoever it is they love will never be the same, thats true. but you will recover. and if youre a girl, dont try to alienate yourself frmo your lover. that won't help you or him. you can work it through. this is such a powerful thing to have gone through together that i think the worst thing to do is cut off all ties and deny it ever happened. just accept that life is different, but please please dont give up on people give them a chance to help you without wallowing in what happened. you can work it through, but dont make yourself go through both the operation and the aftermath alone. if you made it up to the abortion, just remember how much you obviously love each other and accept the new situation but keep the love. dont waste it. i hope this makes sense to someone.
• Sophia from Baltimore, Mdi never post on these and i doubt anyone will ever read this, but to everyone who has gone through an abortion and thinks they're life with whoever it is they love will never be the same, thats true. but you will recover. and if youre a girl, dont try to alienate yourself frmo your lover. that won't help you or him. you can work it through. this is such a powerful thing to have gone through together that i think the worst thing to do is cut off all ties and deny it ever happened. just accept that life is different, but please please dont give up on people give them a chance to help you without wallowing in what happened. you can work it through, but dont make yourself go through both the operation and the aftermath alone. if you made it up to the abortion, just remember how much you obviously love each other and accept the new situation but keep the love. dont waste it. i hope this makes sense to someone.
• Holly from Boothbay, MeKara from Wichita, keep your anti-abortion sentiments to yourself. First of all, not every user on this website is from the United States. Secondly, I'm tired of hearing the argument that the United States was founded on Christian principles, and even if that argument were true, things change. I don't come to Songfacts to get harassed about being pro-choice or about not believing in your God.
• Andrew from Geelong, AustraliaI'm a teenager, and i've had to go through the abortion with my girlfriend.
  this song really touches me.
  when folds says:
  "For the moment we're alone
  She's alone
  I'm alone"
  my girlfriend and I broke up after the abortion because of this, it lead to her going under suicide watch. and our relationship was ruined because of our greif it caused. so i feel that by this he means that after the abortion, because they wer both so hurt, that it also caused to their break up.
• J-f from San Francisco, Ca, CaThis song is so beautiful, and the music and lyrics capture and communicate such strong emotions of love and loss, I can't stop listening to it. Yet I did not know it was about abortion until today. Now that I know, and having had two abortions unfortunately, I can relate to the song even more. It is a difficult, growth experience for sure. I can understand the woman who posted below that she is still close friend with her BF she had it with. I am best friend with her too, and that kind of intensely emotional experience definitely has the power to both break bounds or strengthen them, depending on the maturity of the people. I have to say that it always makes me laugh how some people call the US a religious country, when in fact the US is one of the least religious countries in the world, with less practicing people and more atheists and agnostics than almost anywhere else in the world.
• Leelee from Burlington, Onfor the part about "shes alone, and im alnoe, and now i know it" i always thought it was like literly like the babys not there so the girl is actually alone and now that she had the abotion they are both alone.
• Dean from Sydney,Why must people use this forum as a soapbox for the abortion debate. This song speaks to me and I have had no experience with the actual subject matter. It is a beautiful song and you are degrading it with your opinions.
• Kara from Wichita, KsOk you guys, First off I am a stong believer in Pro-Life awareness and I am in the Pro Life club at my school BUT...as people of a religious country I think that everyone who has had an abortion has made a mistake. That is my own opinion I am not trying to bring about an argument or anything but I think that instead of bashing everyone who has ever had an abortion we need to pray for them. I mean if you were the one who aborted a baby and regreted it you would feel horrible! We need to forgive the people who want to be forgiven. To anyone who has had an abortion I pray for you. As some of you might know where I live in Wichita is known as the abortion capitol. Many of the kids and adults in my community go to the clinics and pray and being there just scares you and makes me cry everytime! Advice for Women getting ready to have an abortion-Think about this Baby, look at a 1st or 2nd grader and hear them speak, do you not just love them? yes it is hard but so is the aftermath of an abortion. If you feel you cannot take care of the baby please give it up for adoption!! There are so many couples that want a little child. They are willing to take a strangers child and take it in as their own! PLEASE I am begging you to Not have an abortion, you may not want that baby, but there IS someone who DOES!!
• Maz from Brisbane, AustraliaIt is hard to enter into the will I won't I debate unless you have been faced with the situation yourself. For me I was attacked by a group of older guys 2 weeks before my 14th b'day. I was scared to death and didn't tell my parents. Almost 7 months later I gave birth to a beautiful little girl, she was very premi and very tiny but prefect and she was adopted out. I was 14 years old and had no other choice. This is not something that I asked for I was a child, they were drunk and it was my friends older brother and friends that I foolishly trusted. The point I am trying to make is, I know where my daughter is and who has raised her and that oneday she is going to knock on my door and ask why I gave her up and I will have to be honest with her and tell her how she came to exist which is not going to be easy on either her or myself. I have never been one to beleive in abortion as it is against my faith, (no I am not a crazy churchie person) but as the years have rolled on, I have often wondered whether or not I made the right decision as it may do more damage in the long run when my duaghter finally contacts me and learns the truth one day. I know the day is coming when she will want to know what happened as she is 16 years old now and knows that she is adopted. Waiting for that day scares me.... maybe people should take a step back and have a think about that side of the story before they get all holier then thou and take sides.
• Luke from Atlanta, GaI absolutely hate the fact that women have the right to choose. I disagree with it entirely and believe that we will all be judged by some kind of higher power someday. Religion, no matter what it may be, is a way of life on all continents of the world. Only "white" ppl (which I am) think otherwise. However an ex girlfriend of mine killed my baby and didn't tell me for sometime. She blamed it on me stating it was my fault. Said I didn't treat her good enough, and I wouldn't have been a good father. I'm devastated and hate myself. Now I have all the early signs of prostate cancer and afraid I may never be able to have kids...What if your mother would have aborted you??
• Paul Marlo from Perth, Australiai still love this.. its the sort of song that seems best when your driving alone in the car at 3am on a lonely rd..
• Sarah from Madison, WiI cannot believe some of you people. Don't make this song a debate over abortion. It wasn't intended for that. Whether you side with pro-choice or pro-life shouldn't matter when you listen to this song. This song just explains what it feels like to go through something like that. Its beautiful and makes me cry every time I hear it.
• Pepper from Fayetteville, ArTo Rob from Long Beach -
  
  About ten months ago my ex-girlfriend and I met for coffee when she told me that four months previous she had aborted our child. I'm a man in the same position and I've felt the pain of the loss.
  
  Imagine having a child and watching him or her get struck by a car in front of your eyes and dying in a pool of blood. That's about the best way I can describe the feeling.
  
  The demographics of the people having an abortion is not the issue here, it's the action. You want to tell me face to face that it's something that I can shrug off because conception should never have happened to begin with?
  
  Maybe if you lose something more than your pocket change one day, you may understand.
  
  And to Michael Potter - Not all of us have taken a vow of chastity. Sorry if differing opinions irritate you.
• Kerry from Royal Oak, MiEvery time I hear this song it reminds me of what happened to me. My boyfriend and I went through the same thing when we were seventeen years old. It is one of the hardest choices you will ever have to make. My boyfriend stood by my side the whole time, holding in the tears, trying to stay strong for me. That whole situation pushed me far away from him. I do have to admit though, having the abortion was the smartest decision I had made. That comment may sound cold and inhumaine, but it comes down to children raising children. How much of a positive influence can we honestly be. It is mentally and emotionally one of the hardest things to fight through when reallity starts to hit about what you did. For those who want to throw out criticizm and name calling, please consider that it's a decision for individual who needs to decide for themselves. But for those who use abortions as a form of birth control, that's a different story......
• Chelsie from Annapolis, MdUpset and in somewhat regret about what he is doing, however he realizes that this is the right thing to do for him, his girlfriend, and the baby
• Rob from Long Beach, CaYou have no right to criticize anyone who had to make a choice as difficult as that. Raise an unwanted child, probably on your own and without the budget to do so? Or get rid of the problem? Mike Potter from Virginia, they aren't leaving the "insurace company" to clean up the mess. Something that doesn't need to be fed and cared for doesn't need to get dumped off on anyone. If the baby gets born, the possiblity of our mother freaking out, or the kid realizing what happened and runs off himself, is much greater. I don't understand how you can be against abortions. If you do somehow succeed in the pro-life campain and make it illegal, stressed mothers-to-be will resort to the back alley anyway, just making it more dangerous for everyone, though still not resolving the problem. There. I've done my bit. I feel much better. Sorry.
• J from Baltimore, MdWhen this song came out I would hear it every morning through my open window, played by a neighbor in my apartment building. I didn't know the song, who it was by or what it was about. Beautifully and randomly, I just found this song again today.
  
  I'd venture to say it is a fairly personal song about one couple's feelings towards their own choice to get an abortion.
  
  I'd also venture to say that if it were men who received abortions they would be much less controversial.
• Paul Marlo from Perth, Australiaben folds moved from the U.S. to adelaide in australia with his australian born wife
• Taylor from New Lenox, IlHaving an abortion is the hardest thing anyone will ever have to do, and I dont think it will ever be any easy thing to do. I had one when I was 17, and I hate hearing how its murder and how its wasnt my body, it was my babys body. You dont understand unless you have ever been pregnant and confused. It IS your body .. thats your child inside you and they will be apart of you for the rest of your life. So you do have a choice because thats your child, and your life will affect their life more than people think. Its very hard being young and making this kind of decision because all you think about is fear. Everything else kinda of seems to get blocked out. My boyfriend and I used a condom and the condom broke, so I wasnt just a dunb kid having sex either. Abortion was one of the worst things I ever did and I hate that I must live with the painful memory of it everyday for the rest of my life. I understand people who hate people who have abortions and say its murder but before you go off and start hating on people like us .. try to think about how much we have already suffered and how we werent happy about our decisions. I know I wasnt and I emphasize with everyone who has gone through an abortion, because you really do lose apart of your own life when it happens.
• Roxy from London, EnglandI would like to reply to the comment made by this person
  
  
  "The fact is that if stupid kids are gonna have sex, then it's 100% of their obligation to have the child. They have no right to an abortion. Tough luck. Get educated before you act like an idiot"
  
  Michael Potter, Roanoke, VA
  
  Your comment sickens me. Clearly you have never been through an abortion, if you had you would not have made such a disgusting comment.
  
  Firstly you have absolutely NO RIGHT to comment on the issue of abortion if you yourself have not been through it. You have never experienced the pain and anguish often caused by an abortion therefore how can you judge those who have.
  
  Secondly, it is not only "stupid teenagers" that "get" pregnant, there are women of all ages who have become pregnant through no fault of their own.
  
  Thirdly , there are many reasons why a person may choose, or in some cases be forced into an abortion. For instance if a woman is raped.
  
  Finally i would like to put to you this.... how would you feel if your child was terminaly ill and would not only not be able to live a normal life, but would have no quality of life at all due to their disability.
  
  Choosing an abortion is one of the hardest things a woman will ever have to go through and YOU have no right to judge them.
  
  Your comments are not only rude they are un-educated and judgemental. I am sure there are many things you yourself could be judged for. Think before you speak and before you make such ignorant comments also realise that contraception is not always 100 percent effective.
  
• Ressie from Medford, OrLet's not spiel our personal politics here. Both sides of the argument have points that the other cannot argue - no one will ever win. Regardless of you feelings towards abortion, the point is that a piece of this song touched you. Giving a a relevent background into your situation in order to better explain your connection to the song is one thing - projecting your beliefs and/or belittling others is not needed. There are political forums for that. We are here to discuss the song. Thanks. ANYWAY..."Brick" has kept my interest due to the fact that the music perfectly balances the lyrics. Some songs are a little too fast or slow, or the music is perfect but the lyrics seems a little forced...not here. Ben Folds did a tremendous job in conveying the listlessness, pain and surrealism in making a choice that seems bigger than your capabilites. Excellent job.
• Ava from Eagan, MnAnyone who says abortion is a woman's choice is wrong. From the moment a child is conceived, it's no longer the woman's body. That baby is its own body, not the woman's. I had an abortion when I was 16 years old, and it was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. Even in the case of a medical problem, everything happens for a reason. If you conceive a child, you should be ready for whatever will come with that child. You shouldn't just decide "Oh, let's kill it because it's not going to be perfect." That is a poor excuse for a murder. In the case of an unplanned pregnancy resulting in abortion, the only "mistake" is getting the abortion. If I could take back what I did, I would in a heartbeat. Abortion is one of the most selfish things anyone could have ever created, and the fact is, it is wrong. My ex-boyfriend (my child's father) and I have listened to this song together and he can relate to it perfectly. Our parents also found out about the abortion right after we had it, so it was pointless anyway. We were 16 and 18 year old kids, and we had no idea what we were doing, much less the right to have sex.
• Kirsty from Newcastle, AustraliaUnfortunately some people attempt to appear flawless, not themselves or anyone close to them having made any mistakes let alone having to deal with an unexpected pregnancy. I dont really think this can in any way whatsoever be likened to a 'time-bomb' being deliberatley let off. When comments are made like this it should be taken into consideration that every situation is individual and possibly for medical reasons.... not to mention that they may have made the mistake of sleeping with a loser like Michael Potter, Roanoke, VA... but of course that would never happen as he obvioulsy never gets any anyway!
• Dave from Cardiff, WalesBen Folds piano hooks (similar to the style adopted by Bruce Hornsby) dominated his former bands 5 UK Top 40 hits - this was their second biggest hit in the UK, only "Battle Of Who Could Care Less" a year earlier did better in the UK than this
• Dave from Cardiff, WalesBFF did not get the recognition they deserved
• Emily from Dunmore, PaI must say, even though I am against abortion, I happen to love the way this song deals with the issue. Listening to the lyrics, you'll note that Ben isn't saying "Pro-life" or "pro-choice," In fact, he really isn't making a political statement at all...He's saying, "This is my experience, and it was a sad one." And so, even with my personal bias, I still listen to this song, all the time.
• Pebs from Middle America, IlFor the girls who are looking for more songs on this topic.. check out Anna Nalick "Breathe (2am)"
• Joey from St. Louis, MoIn "A Really Tough Year" from "iTunes Essentials - Ben Folds", he says "I always wanted to write a song (and i tried lots of different ways) of capturing the felling of being a teenager and having to grow up in 2 seconds, and as you grow up something dies at the same time." and later says that his girl friend was suicidal.
• Alex from Urbandale, Iaim going through this right now, as in my girlfriend and i and it's incredibly scary. this song is a great song maybe just for the fact that i can relate to it really well but i doubt it. overall its just a great song
• Sarah from Columbus, GaI heard this song when it came out a while back...now 2006 I saw it on one of those 90s rock cds. So I got it and I remember I liked the song but it wasnt anything special about it. I never really listenen to the words I was just the piano I liked. But when I got it the other day I couldnt stop listening to it. Over and over again...still not really listening to all the words. For some strange reason I just wanted to hear it over and over again. Then finally it hit me. This song has got to be about an abortion. To me that was what I thought. Then it hit me why I wanted to listen to it so much. I just went through the same thing a couple months ago and this is how I felt. Something inside me knew what this song was saying and it helped me deal with it in some weird way. The part in the song that got me was when they called her name at 730. That sounded so familiar to me. I am glad that someone wrote a song about this. Im sure there are more...but they are hard to find.
• Isabel from Toronto, ChinaI don't think he is really saying she's dragging him down. Unless you have been faced with an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy I dont think you could really understand how it feels to go through it. I think he is feeling alone because he is so unsure of what he wants and what is right, and she is just to emotionally locked up to be able to help him through it. It is a very difficult thing for both people involved. For the woman because she feels as if no one really understands how she feels and how much it hurts, and for the man because he feels completely helpless and often the feelings of the man go unthoughtof.
• Stefanie from Rock Hill, ScI remember first hearing this song in about 1998 or so. I was around ten years old, so I didn't really get what it was about. I get it now of course. My sister used to listen to it a lot. She was about fourteen years old at the time.
• Pam from Baltimore, MdI always thought that The freshman was also about abortion just coudl never pin point it again... or I thought maybe I was just crazy that how can all these songs be about abortion!? Maybe I am just too "against it" but anyhow... Just wanted to say thanks for the affirmation on this as well folks...
  Pam
• Pam from Baltimore, MdI always knew what this song was about I just wasn't certain until I found this site... thanks for the affirmation... The ending part "she's alone and I'm alone and now I know it" It also could be interpreted as the two of them realizing that they didn't HAVE to have the abortion done after everything... her parents found out anyways... abortion can leave people with sever mixed feelings... Thanks again...
  Pam
• Bren from Melb, AustraliaWell, i was also fairly off base, I honestly thought this song was about a guy's girlfriend who was going into severe depression, and eventually had to be hospitalised. The words "cause I was tired of life" also seem to indicate that he was being dragged down too, like a brick...
• Dc from Kansas City, MoDon't feel bad Fred from Detroit. I can understand that interp if you don't know better. Up until my friends told me what the song was about I always thought it was about a guy wanting to break up with his girlfriend, but trying to do it delicately because he still cares about her even though the romance is gone from their relationship. I figured the song was about him doing a final special thing with her to soften the blow but he keeps chickening out of breaking the news. And to be honest, taking certain parts symbolically I can still see hear that interpretation when I listen to the song.
• Jennifer from Cleveland, Ohok i am doing a report on abortion and here are the satistics so before you say that your against them read this,
  
  3.3% of women who have an abortion due to risk of fetal health
  
  2.8% of women who have an abortion due to risk of maternal health
  
  There are a lot more but those two realy stand out in my mind and if you get an abortion due to those issues than you may have saved yourself till marriage but there were health issues involved so you had to get one.
• Fred from Detroit, United StatesBoy, am I clueless. I thought this song was about the girl being diagnosed with cancer or leukemia, and the doctors at the hospital having the singer break the news to her about her not responding to the tratment (especially the part about it showed that she was not fine, and son, its time to tell her - I thought that this referred to the doctors talking to him about the test results).
• Cara from Riverbank, CaI think the lyrics that read
  "Driving home to her apartment,
  For the moment we're alone.
  She's alone.
  I'm alone.
  Now I know it."
  are referring more to going back to her apartment after the clinic visit, and realization comes that the pregnancy, the baby, is gone. and they are alone. in every sense of alone. no longer connected to each other. it is a very empty feeling. it leaves you speechless.
• Rayni from Adelaide, Australia, United StatesJust having been through a termination 4 months ago this song has helped me in more ways than one.
  I knew my partner cared and still does.
  I knew it hurt him as it hurt me.
  And it happens.
  Some men have trouble expressing them self?s emotionally.
  Brick came on the radio, at the time, my partner looked at me, and said
  ?This song, means more than what your singing, listen to the words, find the meaning, then you will know how I feel?
  In my opinion it?s about being helpless to help another?s situation, my partner was alone, I was alone, but we were and are still together.
  Pure heart felt emotions couldn?t be shared, not every one deals with things in the same way. He breaks down silently; I got/get depressed and pushed it to far almost to hospitalization.
  This song has given him a release to be able to share with me how he feels. And for me just to know he cares. My final words?
  
  You made me walk alone, to find my way, yet you were always by my side, forever you said you?ll stay.
  
  Life is a reason to embrace ones words. To find the meaning hidden in the finer print.
  This song has helped me to move on? to continue walking?
• Stacey from Nowra, Australiai think it means their both alone because they can't tell any one eles and they dont feel like they can talk to each other cos its too painful so they are alone in their heads. sad song
• Kelli from Cedar Rapids, IaThe Song "The Freshman" is not about abortion....it's about using someone and the guilt you feel when they become self destructive
• Andy from Brighton, England'Brick' in the UK is a somewhat antiquated/regional term for someone who does the right thing - often under trying circumstances
  
  I don't know if that's where the song came from.
  
  I do know it's beautiful, and it makes me well up when I hear it. (well up as in near tears, not priapic)
• Paul from Brisbane, AustraliaI'm doin a film clip for school an it had to be on teen issues. I chose teen pregnancy to go with the song by The Verve - "Bittersweet Symphony" but after hiring out a Ben Folds 5 dvd an hearing brick again, which i haven't heard for a long time the song just fitted the clip more. Then i decide to find out what he meant by the songs lyrics an i can't believe he wrote the song about the same issue i'm doing. its the best song, its got so much meaning and emotion in the song.
• Andy from Voorhees, NjFirst off I want to say that this song is one of the best songs I've ever heard. I think the way they deal with the issue of abortion is great, they are subtle but if u listen you'll get it. I also want to say, that abortion is a huge decission and its a choice. It should never be illegal. My two best friends had this happen to them and I went with them to the clinic because I could see how hard it was on both of them, but I'm glad they did it because have a kid in high school would have ruined their plans. And I'm happy to say that my friends are still dating after 3 years and are so in love I'm even wanting them to get married some day and have them start a family.
• Nathalie from Laguna, CaI had an abortion when I was 10. But the guy who got me pregnant didn't go with me, because I was raped, and he was in jail.
• Michael Potter from Roanoke, VaAny digression on abortion is useless. The fact of whether or not it's wrong is irrelevant. The fact is that if stupid kids are gonna have sex, then it's 100% of their obligation to have the child. They have no right to an abortion. Tough luck. Get educated before you act like an idiot. If I activate a time-bomb in my house and decide to leave because I don't want to deal with the messy aftermath, I don't have the right to request that my insurance company pay to rebuild it -- to fix my mistakes. That's what unmarried people are asking for when they have sex. Stupid actions warrant stupid results. No sympathy here. Of course, these statements give me the label of "close-mindedness", which is fine by me. Society starts to deteriorate when "open-mindedness" pervades it. That aside, the music in this song is awesome.
• Diana from Baltimore, MdPeople,on the abortion thing...women have abortions for very different reasons and they're in a myriad of situations. You can't assume how a woman or man is going to feel about it from your own experience or someone else's. Some women feel guilty. Some feel relieved. Some feel devastated. Some have the experience of not feeling very much about it at all. Every woman is different.
• Diva from Wilmington, DeAlso to Annabeth, Kutztown, PA, the girl in the song the Freshman never actually died, and even ended up getting married to Vander Ark (the lead singer.
• Sara from Orlando, FlTO: Annabeth, Kutztown, PA
  
  I hope you read this. I was appauled by your closed minded comment " It sucks. Don't do it.", so general with no thought behing the words...
  It sucks when your child is said to have multiple disorders and will be born w/o quality of life. Will you have a child like this? and Don't do it, it's not a command you should be making..
  
  On another note, the brick can be interpreted in many different ways. To me "she's a brick" and "i'm drowning slowly" simply states the way he feels, she's terribly sad and depressed, and it's killing me too.
• Kasey from Noblesville, Ini had an abortion when i was 17 and my boyfriend of the time loved this song and still does and just recently i found out what this song was about and everything he sings makes sence in my ex boyfriends eyes. he is one of my bestfriends now and im glad we share that and this song.
• Alison from Melbourne, AustraliaBrilliant song. To me the "brick" reference of the lyrics has always seemed very clear. The situation has thrown her into a depression that fails to resolve after the abortion. He is not really emotionally involved with her, but feels obligated to remain with her & support her out of pity. When he really should be able to let her go & get on with his life. This is expressed so movingly in "I'm alone, She's alone, now I know it." They are not a couple - anything but. So she is the brick tied around his neck that is pulling him under.
  
  To me it's meaningful, not re abortion, but cos I have suffered depression & felt I was the brick around my friend's necks.
• Danny from Columbus, OhI totally agree with anabeth, freshman and brick are 2 great songs that deal with abortion. I've heard Ben Folds doesn't play brick much in concert because it's so personal. It's a great song that tells a sad story about teenage ignorance. I think this is their best song but check out army,rocking the suburbs,tiny dancer, and the luckiest if you enjoyed brick.
• Annabeth from Kutztown, PaAbortion is never good for anyone. The girl ends up with emotional trauma (read the lyrics, you'll figure it out) and the couple usually ends up breaking up. (see previous note.) Not to mention a kid is killed. this and The Freshmen are both probably the most accurate songs about abortion out there. It sucks. Don't do it.
• Nick from Phoenix, AzHaven't any of you ever been in a relationship that you felt trapped in? Thats my interpretation. She's the "brick". They are in a relationship, but he is not truly in love. The whole abortion thing simply brings all this to light and when he sings "she's alone, and I'm alone" I feel that the relationship has ended. Perhaps not an "offical" break-up, but each of them knows that they are not in love.
• Heidi from Louisville, KyI wonder what the girl that this song is about feels when she hears the song?
• Heather from Baker City, OrI read on a website that because this song is such a personal one he "prefers not to be in the same room when people are listening to them."
• Marlow from Perth, Australiathe song is definately about abortion. "the brick" part is just about the way she weighs him down and its not a relationship that is ever going to last. just one of those stepping stone relationship that you have before you meet your true love
• Cam from Wauchula, FlI agree with Megan and Ashley, the singer doesn't want the abortion... but neither does the girl but b/c of the circumstances she thinks she has to do it.
  
  "off the coast and i'm headed nowwhere" seems to me like he is talking about maybe she lives on the coast and they have to go inland to the clinic, so they are driving away from the coast but he is heading "nowhere" in his heart.
  
  "Now that I have found someone
  I'm feeling more alone
  Then I ever have before"
  
  means that he loves her but doesn't like what they are doing ,but is going along to support her and probably pay for abortion, hence the selling of the gifts.
  
  "She is balled up on the couch" this tells me she is not wanting to do this either, but because of the circumstances it has to be done.
  
  "As weeks went by
  It showed that she was not fine
  They told me son its time to tell the truth and
  I broke down
  Cause I was tired of lying"
  
  him telling the concerned parents what happened.
  
  just my intrepretation....
  
• James from Millbury, OhSee I always thought of the lyrics "she's a brick, and I'm drowning slowly," as that she is sinking fast and that he is not really sinking. As in they are feeling more and more seperated and alone.
• Marlo from Perth, Australiabeautiful, thought provoking song..... a modern day classic!
• Jim from Milwaukee, WiBen addressed this subject on his 2003 CD, "Ben Folds Live." Here is what he had to say, verbatim:
  
  "People ask me what this song's about...I was asked about it a lot, and I didn't really wanna make a big hairy deal out of it, because I just wanted the song to speak for itself. But the song is about when I was in high school, me and my girlfriend had to get an abortion, and it was a very sad thing. And, I didn't really want to write this song from any kind of political standpoint, or make a statement. I just wanted to reflect what it feels like. So, anyone who's gone through that before, then you'll know what the song's about."
• Nathan from Schaumburg, IlNot sure if this is true: Ben Folds had an interview about this song and said it was about a group of guy's who made a bet with a friend that he could get with this girl and have sex with her; but when it went too far he broke up with her, hence the lyrics
  "As weeks went by It showed that she was not fine
  They told me son its time to tell the truth and
  I broke down Cause I was tired of lying." So I assume he got her pregnant and she had an abortion and then they both felt guilty. I did not see the interview, it's just what I heard.
• Holly from Pensacola, FlSince the song is told in the boyfriend's point of view, he probably says that "she's a brick and I'm drowning slowly.." because she isn't saying anything, she's almost lifeless around him cause she's so depressed..and he's drowning slowly cause he knows how he feels and he feels bad, cause he doesn't know how to help her or the situation. It's sad at the end of the song, "driving back to her apartment, for the moment we're alone, she's alone and I'm alone, now I know it..." this broke the couple apart, because of the guilt and hard-feelings, and the choice they made to get an abortion.
• Laura from Macomb, Ilthere is no connection between the abortion and "brick". read in an article that while ben was thinking about righting the song, one of the other guys, don't remember which one was writing the chourus.
• Nicole from Omaha, NeThe "Brick" element of the song might be interpreted at least two very different ways: as Meg says, the female might be a brick in her emotional coldness or strength, whichever you might take it as.
  You might also view the woman as a metaphorical brick for the man in the relationship, though. What do you do when you want something to sink in water, say.. a human body? Our drowning male, for example? You weight it. Rocks, bricks, whatever. Ever heard the expression "fell like a ton of bricks"? Yeah. Well.. that's just my take on it.
• Megan Anderson from Watertown, SdI think the song talks about the hardness a woman must have in order to go through an abortion, the title "brick" says it all. "she's a brick and i'm drowning slowly" shows that she thinks she can handle it, and he knows he cant. then as the weeks go by they realize what they've done and fall apart. the song really shows the pain that comes with abortion survivors and how sensless and "brick"-like you have to be to go through with it.
• Ashley from Columbus, OhLike Ash said it is about a girl have an abortion. On the Part where he says "Can't you see, Its not me your dying for" I think he is talking to the fetus about the fact that she is the one that wants to abortion not me.

More Songfacts:

Where It's AtBeck

The sample in Beck's song "Where It's At" that says "What about those who swing both ways: AC-DC" came from a 1969 sex-ed album for middle schoolers.

Voices Carry'Til Tuesday

The MTV classic "Voices Carry" is by 'Til Tuesday, a group fronted by Aimee Mann. She wrote the lyric about a friend who's partner wanted to keep their fling a secret.

Jailhouse RockElvis Presley

The name "Schoolhouse Rock," which was a series of educational cartoons, was a play on "Jailhouse Rock," the title of an Elvis Presley song.

There Are Too Many of UsBlur

Blur's "There Are Too Many of Us" was inspired in part by a siege in an Australian chocolate café that Damon Albarn witnessed, which resulted in the death of the gunman and two hostages.

BlackbirdThe Beatles

Paul McCartney wrote "Blackbird" in Scotland after reading about race riots in the US, triggered when federal courts forced the racial desegregation of the Arkansas capital's school system.

Uncle John's BandGrateful Dead

"Uncle John's Band" by the Grateful Dead was the first time the phrase "God Damn" appeared in a commercially-released song.

Editor's Picks

Bob Dylan Lyric QuizMusic Quiz

Think you know your Bob Dylan lyrics? Take this quiz to find out.

David SanciousSongwriter Interviews

Keyboard great David Sancious talks about his work with Sting, Seal, Springsteen, Clapton and Aretha, and explains what quantum physics has to do with making music.

Rick AstleySongwriter Interviews

Rick Astley on "Never Gonna Give You Up," "Cry For Help," and his remarkable resurgence that gave him another #1 UK album.

British InvasionFact or Fiction

Go beyond The Beatles to see what you know about the British Invasion.

Does Jimmy Page Worship The Devil? A Look at Satanism in RockSong Writing

We ring the Hell's Bells to see what songs and rockers are sincere in their Satanism, and how much of it is an act.

Goodbye, Hello: Ten Farewell Tour Fake-OutsSong Writing

The 10 biggest "retirement tours" that didn't take.