The Hardest Thing

Album: Chicamacomico (2022)
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Songfacts®:

  • On American Aquarium's ninth studio album, Chicamacomico, frontman BJ Barham confronts many of the losses he's endured in recent years, including the death of his mother. "The Hardest Thing," however, isn't about a son losing his mother, but a husband losing his wife. Barham, who wrote the tune in Nashville with Texas singer-songwriter Hayes Carll, recalled how the song came together:

    "I had this idea about a husband who was still having conversations with his recently deceased wife and Hayes helped me focus that into a narrative that really felt organic. Not a 'losing his mind moment,' just a 'this is all he's known for 50+ years' moment. She was just as much a part of his day as brushing his teeth or making a pot of coffee. I watched what my dad went through after losing my mom and wanted to put that lost feeling into words. The 'what do I do now?' or more importantly the 'how do I do this without you here?'

    This is a brutal moment for me on the record because I see so much of my father's pain in the character. Thanks to my wife and my daughter, I now know what it's like to love someone that much. I couldn't imagine just waking up one day and them not being here. Another humanizing song on this record about time and how it waits for no one."
  • The album marks the band's return to original music after a brief foray into covers with Slappers, Bangers & Certified Twangers, a two-volume tribute to country music of the '80s and '90s, released in 2021.

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