Love I'm Given

Album: Brightest Blue (2020)

Songfacts®:

  • Ellie Goulding married the art dealer Caspar Jopling at York Minster Cathedral on August 31, 2019. Here, she reflects on the rejuvenating effect of finally finding someone who loves her for the right reasons.

    I'm alive
    I know my heart is beating, but my head's in the sky
    I found a different meaning since you came in my life
    Now all of time is standing still, shining so bright


    Goulding explained to The Guardian that in the past she put on a tough exterior as a coping mechanism to deal with her own feelings of inadequacy and stress. "I don't know how I could have possibly given a good version of myself to anyone: friends, boyfriends, family," she admitted. "So I'm very grateful Caspar came along, because I feel like I was able to be myself again."
  • Goulding admitted to the BBC that before she met Jopling, she had bad attitudes and went through therapy to deal with anger. The songstress has gradually unraveled these issues and leaned to give the right kind of love.

    And maybe I'm paying for the things I've done
    And maybe I'm paying for the ones I've hurt
    But I feel a change in the love I'm given
    I'm turning the page on my indecision


    The lyrics came to Goulding out of nowhere when she was living in New York; at the time she didn't fully appreciate what she was singing about. "I listened back to it, I was like, 'Sorry, what did I do again? What did I do wrong?,'" said the singer. "But I think I'm referring to how I've maybe not behaved in a way that I'm proud of, or mistreated people."
  • The title of Goulding's Brightest Blue album refers to an enlightening experience at an art exhibition. This song's lyrics about being redeemed by Jopling's love tie in with the theme of renewal that runs through the record.
  • Goulding wrote the song with Jim Elliot and Joe Kearns, who also supplied the production. The pair produced several other Brightest Blue tunes, including the title track.
  • Rianne White (Young Fathers) shot the music video at Goulding's local boxing gym during lockdown. The director also worked with the singer on her "Flux" clip. The visual is juxtaposed with footage of Goulding dressed in stunning gowns by Schiaporelli and Ashi Studio. Said the songstress:

    "'Love I'm Given' is about accepting and being at peace with all the mistakes in your life and realizing you get the same love back you give out. The video represents the fight between calm and chaos. The Boxing ring is weirdly the place I feel the most pure and in control and the moments gold dress represent getting to a place of ultimate power when you know you are in the most powerful place you can be when you have that kind of revaluation about love and forgiveness."

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