I've Never Been To Me

Album: I've Never Been To Me (1976)
Charted: 1 3
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Songfacts®:

  • Charlene originally recorded this in 1976, and it got to #97 in the American charts. Six years later, it was re-released after a Florida radio station started playing it to great public acclaim, by which time Charlene had moved to England and was working in an Ilford, Essex sweet shop. The re-release became a huge hit in England as well.
  • The song was originally written from a male perspective but was rewritten by Ron Miller for Charlene. The use of the line "I've been to crying for unborn children" was not written about abortion. The line refers to a woman who is at a point in her life that she wished she had taken the time to have children.
  • There are many misconceptions about this song. The spoken bridge in the song was not about or did it mention abortion - it was deemed too feminist and when Charlene's first album was re-released in 1977, the spoken bridge had been deleted. When the song became an unexpected hit in 1982 it was the version WITH the spoken bridge intact that was released. It has also been widely reported that the 1982 single was a re-recording, it is not. >>
    Suggestion credit:
    Shawn - Los Angeles, CA
  • Charlene was signed to Motown Records, but this was her only hit.
  • When this song was first released in America in 1976, Charlene's full name was Charlene Duncan through her marriage to record producer Larry Duncan, but when the song was released for a second time in 1982, her name was then Charlene Oliver because of her marriage to Englishman Jeff Oliver. >>
    Suggestion credit:
    Terry - Northampton, England
  • This was used in the 1994 movie The Adventures Of Priscilla, Queen Of The Desert.
  • There have been several cover versions of this song by both male and female artists, including Nancy Wilson, Randy Crawford, The Temptations, Walter Jackson and Howard Keel.
  • Charlene filmed the video for the song at Blicking Hall, Norfolk, England in the very same dress that she got married in. >>
    Suggestion credit:
    Terry - Northampton, England
  • Temptations lead singer Dennis Edwards told Record Mirror in 1984 that the group's 1982 cover of this song was his favorite Temptations recording. "That song said what I really wanted to say to myself," he explained.

Comments: 75

  • Evelyn from MyanmarFor me, the song is just one lady trying to tell a story about herself to another one who's in dreaming about some kind of paradise in life, that she lived many ways of her life with many sacrifice in many ways and after all is nothing. "But I wish someone had of talked to me like I wanna talk to you" explains that she's wondering it would be nice if somebody like her had told her about what the cousequences of living on that way and then she can avoid it from the beginning.
  • Lady Magic from Sydney, AustraliaI loved the song when I heard it the very first time. I loved its melody, the storry- telling style, but I wasn't comfortable when I realised there were words like "being undressed by kings", "subtle whoring", which seems to suggest that the value of women are for sex. But I do love the whole main point of the song, which is a woman sharing her life story of chasing "high end living" and " unusually experiences", and her realisation of what loneliness and emptiness she has eventually got after all her adventures, wishing she had lived as an ordinary woman who sleeps with the same man in the up-and-down life and has her own children.
    It raises a few question
    1. What is "PARADISE"-- is it the well sought-after French or Greek iles, sipping champagne in the yacht, or showing people what you've got?
    2. What does it mean by "never been to me"?
    3. "Cost so much to be free"-- what is real "freedom"-- is it just going anywhere you like, doing anything you want to do? Or is it important how your heart really feels?

    The meaning of the song depends on how an individual takes it and at what level. To me, it is a song that makes you thing about "what do you really want in your life" and "how do you live your life to make it worthwhile"

    For the bridge talk, I changed it to be as below, which i think can answer the 3 questions above:

    Hey, do you know where Paradise is? It's in your heart when you're doing the things you love, being in the place you want to be, following your heart and being true to yourself, sharing love, sharing laughters-- that's the true paradise.
  • Bobby Dobbs from UkI came to learn the nuance/meaning of the song during my tech school years, then I heard someone singing this - at a wedding - with the lady singer singing, "Hey, lady, you lady....", and I was like, gagging on my drink, "Is she even pointing to the bride while she's singing that??!? That was a song about a 'subtle prostitute' regretting her hedonistic lifestyle! Then I heard the same several years later on a Japanese wedding sung by another woman in Japanese lyrics. I hope they changed the theme of the words though. :-D :-D :-D
  • Mcg from Tokyo"I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things That a woman ain't s'posed to see"

    Probably Prince Andrew or Charles with their Prince Albert's. She ain't supposed to see that. That would be gross.
  • Mikeyb from ManilaI'm pretty sure it's not the "rich inventive wife", but the "subtle whoring" is spot on.
  • Debbie from N ZI feel this song is written to remind women that the grass is not necessarily greener on the other side of the fence. A life of travel and free loving and exotic experiences sounds like bliss until you realise that you are lonely. The baby that could have been in your arms wasn't born and the man you can depend on, fight with and dislike then melt in his arms didn't even merit a glance. I totally get this song and I LOVE it !!!!! All women need understanding and to be valued whatever choices they have made or are making.
  • Jack from Hong KongIt’s a song about life, not only applies to women but men. People always want something they’ve never had. And once they got it, they knew that’s nothing special and all of a sudden they discovered they were old and not able to go back and start again. So content with what you have and thank God in everything.
  • Krishna from EarthWhat a sappy, saccharine piece of unrealistic garbage, and.....written by a "man", no less. This piece of "manmade" fluff bears NO resemblance to any reality. Songs like this need to fly back up the ass of the "man" who wrote it. Worst song I've ever had the misfortune of hearing.
  • Meb from England This song makes you think of all the mistakes and choices you have made in life and how you have been treated by husbands, your family work colleagues, friends past and present. I can identify with most wanting children, living the high life isn’t all it seems when you are lonely or at an older age even if you have people around.
  • Donnab from Cranston Rhode Island, Usa I have read most of the comments, debating how those of us who absolutely detest the song just don't "get it". Hate to point this out but there is not a lot to "get". It's not Shakespeare. The hate comes from the cringeworthy embarrassing lyrics coupled with the sappy talking part. In fact, when she says that she wished someone had given her a talking to, I wish someone had given her a talking to about even recording this god-awful sappy song. But I guess to each her/his own.
  • Rt from UkHi there, I first heard this song when it was in the charts & I was about 10 years old. It seemed so original & different to its contemporaries that the gentle melancholy vibe made an impression. Then the singer had sounded like she was sad about something but had got over it & was giving advice to someone. Now all these years later, it resonates as I'm at the very stage of the song theme - 50 years old, a life of freedom & independence chasing a dream only to discover that life's empty when you've not had kids. Maybe that's not what all women would think but I bet a lot do. Perhaps we always imagine that the grass is greener on the other side. You have to accept your choices & path in life particularly if you did it all your own way.
  • Paul Neilson from ScotlandI have loved this song since first hearing it as an 11 year old first time around in 76, my Dad was the part-time DJ (RAF was his day job) on our RAF base in Coltishall near Norwich, we had just moved from Cyprus at the time after 4 years based in Akrotiri (near Limassol) and we were all down about it as it was brilliant but loved it this song then and love it now; one of my favourites of all time lyrically; abortion never crossed my mid, it sung to me as being someone who had tried to have children but had miscarriages or left it too late in life. The story being here that I had Cancer when I was 25 (30 years ago) and battled for 10 years to have children with my wife, on the very last attempt of our ICSI-IVF treatment we were having twins, one didn't survive but we had a beautiful Son called Zak who is 19 years old now and this is why this song is so poignant to me.
  • Elicia from PhilippinesI really thought of abortion and unborn child... I knew it was a story... I love the song.
    It's an implication...
  • Mariana CamposOff course it was written by a man. It just took a dumb woman to sing it. This is the only song that it makes me cringe. Btw, the same time this pathetic song was popular, the Village People was singing and dancing to Go West :)
  • Vee from MalaysiaAt first I thought this song was about the expression of a high class prostitute, about the fantasies of freedom while being surrounded by wealth and elite people tnat would have made her happy. Then came a point of her life, she felt so lone and wished that she would've had a family and children to be loved
  • Elisa from NorwayI can't believe all the hate this song gets, it's a story! Yeah it's kinda outdated and written by a man. But alot of women have lived like that, and will continue to live like that. I see mostly men commenting on this one, do you feel personally offended just by the thought of a woman living like that?
  • Bill from Sacramento, Ca.THE "WORST" I'd rather hear songs by "FOZZIE BEAR"
  • Laurel from PennsylvaniaThis was on the radio the other day.. I hate this song...I really doubt you've been undressed by kings
  • Beulah from UsaMy interpretation of this song is the woman singing is Marilyn Monroe - the lyrics perfectly describe her life: lived a million lives (being an actress of many diff characters/roles), moved like Harlow (the orig platinum blonde bombshell of the 30s), undressed by kings (alleged affairs with JFK, Fidel Castro, etc) and Ive seen some things that a woman aint supposed to see (the theory that MM was murdered was bec she knew too much and was a threat to national security). So she's never been to her own self - changed names, looks, even divorced her husband as producers wanted her to be unmarried. She was also allegedly avused by what she called the "wolves" of Hollywood. So there is sadness in her eyes...if you cover her face except the eyes you will see the sadness there. And then there's more tou can attribute to her: unborn children, subtle whoring...So everytime i hear the song i hear MM giving her advice to plain janes, ordinary women who are truly alive in contrast to the life she lived - a fantasy as she called it. I tried to google if anyone else on this planet thinks the same or see this interpretation. But to my surprise i found nothing. That is what brought me to this page. Thanks for reading :) . By the way i think this song appeals to women and nrver to men. It's too heavy and sad a song maybe thats why even some women don't really like it. But I like it a lot.
  • Ed from AtlantaIt's a lovely song. But you have the lyrics wrong.

    In the second line, it's not "rich inventive" wife. It's REGIMENTED wife.
  • Tera from Parisforme13@hotmail.comI absolutely love this song, it came out when I was 18, at age 25 I decided to go alone from CT to CA ...I took the path of travel, moving around and playing the field. I said it was written FOR ME and now in my 50's I can say it's still as well as The Greatest Love Of All are my theme songs about my life's story. Never married, no kids but I have no regrets about the sum total of all my experiences but at times I wish I had a daughter. Charlene's voice is beautiful, I wish she continued making music for all to enjoy.
  • Lg479 from San Diego, CoI have always loved this song, Charlene has a perfect pitch and voice to sing something so nostalgic. I have heard others sing it, but only Charlene has the perfection of a "knowing innocence" to complete the delivery of these lyrics. I believe it is a ballad to women who chase success, money, travel, experience and decide to delay the common things like marriage, family, mothering. Charlene, or whoever wrote these lyrics lived in the simple/complex time in 70's - 80's when we were encouraged to be "ALL THAT YOU CAN BE" on every radio or TV commercial, and the "settle-for-less" was to marry and have children. Well, I have been to PARADISE. My husband of my youth had ambition and coupled with mine we made the big bucks and did the Monte Carlo cchampagne yachts....and we had kids, who traveled everywhere. All of that BEING and GOING was intoxicating and great fun; but the sincerity of parenting took a backseat. I was in a salon recently when I heard the complete song with the bridge. The yearning for "normal, sincere, low-drama" in her voice and these lyrics and the sheer beauty of her heart and her voice caused me to look it up and write this. It is not a champion of Christianity; though it really does point out the difference in choosing the WORLD over a simple LOVE. It is not a critique of abortion; though it could well reflect the haunting feeling of mothers who gave up their unborn because of social or economical discomfort. It is a ballad of a heart who made choices that later in reflection were more costly than she was able to see from the beginning. I wish it were not such anathema to a feminist or independent sexless society. I believe it speaks wisdom to a yearning soul that is natural.
  • Barry from Sauquoit, NyOn February 28th 1982, "I've Never Been To Me" by Charlene entered Billboard's Hot Top 100 chart at position #84; and on May 16th it peaked at #3 (for 3 weeks) and spent 13 weeks on the Top 100 (and for 6 of those 13 weeks it was on the Top 10)...
    And on June 26th, 1982 it reached #1 (for 1 week) on the United Kingdom's Singles chart...
    The three weeks it was at #3 on the Top 100, at #2 was "Don't Talk To Strangers" by Rick Springfield and #1 was "Ebony and Ivory" by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder...
    Was co-composed by Ron Miller; who also co-wrote "A Place in the Sun", "For Once in My Life", "Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday", and Diana Ross' #1 hit "Touch Me in the Morning"...
    Charlene, born Charlene Marilynn D'Angelo, will celebrate her 64th birthday in four months on June 1st (2014).
  • Larry from Wayne, PaTo me, this is the worst song that ever made the top 10. Absolutely unlistenable. I remember when it came out, I had to jump out of the shower to turn it off when it came on the radio.
  • Marie from Cebu, PhilippinesIt's pretty sad that not many people totally get this song. I've been singing this whenever I get to hold a microphone and my friends and family even strangers get awestruck whenever I sing this. Maybe because this song is basically a song of my life. And no I don't have a husband or a child, but I have certainly been to places and had things I thought I wanted. In plain sentence, I have everything I ever wanted but not what I needed.
  • Sioraf from Macroon, IrelandThe Irish comedian Dustin The Turkey had a song called Never Ben To Meath with the same air as this song and this song was referenced in a Simpsons episode in recent years.
  • Roger from Birmingham, AlThis is truly one of the cheesiest, sappiest, most self-indulgent, faux-deep songs I have ever heard. It sounds like it should be the background music for a feminine hygiene product. I was out the other day having a perfectly nice meal at a Thai restaurant and this came on and ruined it. It was like, "Oh gawd, where did that come from? And what the hell does 'I've never been to me' mean?" I never got that when the song came out, and I still don't get it now.
  • Thomas Wuestenfeld from Arlington Heights, Il, IlOne of the worst songs ever recorded.
  • Ekristheh from Halath, United StatesIt's interesting how many people who "realize the values in this song are true" are, or become, born-again Christians.
  • Steve from Valencia, CaIn reference to the earlier question about the "b" side of this record, "Used To Be", I remember it getting a great deal of airplay here in LA and I think it charted somewhere in the teens. And, Charlene's voice IS wonderful!
  • Andrew from Denver, CoI'm the webmaster for Charlene's new, official web site and just wanted to let folks know it's at CharleneSongs.com. She has an album of new songs there, including a new version of you know what :) and also her books - a cute children's book, and her autobiography, aptly titled I've Never Been To Me.
  • Conor Doran from Carnew, IsraelI heard dis song fully for d'fist time t'day (21/08/2010) an' I have t'say I was deeply moved by it in a way I've never been before when listenin' to a song!!! I come from Ireland, an' I don't know if any of you are familiar wit' "Dustin the Turkey" (a comic Irish television puppet) who has won many achievements includin' a musical career (he can't sing t'save his life - dat's part of his comic performance)!! He liked t'take well known songs an' rewrite dem as parodies for charity (even ruin dem at times but it was all in a good cause) Any way he rewrote "Never been to me" as "Never been to Meath" where he expressed his wishes to see d'county Meat'!!! When I heard dat it was d'first time I heard d'melody to Charlene's masterpiece!!! An' ever since den I've been tryin' t'find dis song an' now I have an' it has a more melancholic mood dan Dustin's comic parody version, as I say I'm very moved by it!!! Now I heard it fully for d'first time t'day an' I am surprised dat I didn't hear it before now because it is superb, d'imagery is so powerful an' der is so much heart put into it dat it's a wonder people don' make a greater fuss about it!!! I have t'say now dat bein' passionate about listenin' to a songs lyrics dis song will, as of t'day, be placed very near d'top o'my list of songs dat have moved me!!! IUt is absolutey excellent I do not know what else t'say!!!!
  • Christie from Beijing, ChinaI like this song. Tracy Huang from Taiwan has sung it as early as in 1978 and released in her album "Just The Way You Are". It was a big success, that's why this song was earlier known and more popular in Asia than in the states. Tracy has changed the lyric a bit, she changed "undressed by kings" into "caressed by kings" and "subtle whoring" into "inner feeling", so that the song was more acceptable in our culture. I love both Charlene's and Tracy's rendition.
  • Brent from Idaho Falls, IdTo all those trying to apply meanings - sometimes a thing is just a thing. The song isn't about abortion. The song is about concequenses. These come with every decision we make in life, good or bad. Sometimes they are immediate, sometimes they don't come around until later in life. I envy those who can sing. I would trade every homerun, touchdown or dunk I ever made to be able to sing. I would love to be even a "one hit wonder".
  • Paul from Washington Dc, DcThis is one of the lamest songs I have ever heard in my life!How melodramatic can you possibly get? I rank it right down there with "You Light Up My Life" and "Sometimes when We Touch". With his sappiest efforts, Barry Manilow managed to make better songs than this.Since so many people on this site think it's so great, I defy anyone to rag on me for my love of ABBA's music!
  • Evelyn Mills from Oxford, United KingdomI used to love this song when I was young in late 70's and in early 80's and after re-discovering it recently, I found I love it even more. I read with interest all the comments posted and I respect people for their ideas/messages... and after all that's said... I still LOVE this song (along with "Somewhere in My life" & "It Ain't Easy comin' Down". Charlene's voice is (was?) simply amazing.
  • Daryll from Manila, PhilippinesThis song has a certain connection to me. I don't know why but each time I listen to it, there's that certain kind of feeling that I am someone else. This is not my favorite song but it certainly is one of the best songs I've ever heard.
  • Charlene Oliver from Santa Clarita , Cawell first of all, I love this song, not many people understand it, it is not about abortion, it's about a woman who has never had children because she was to busy chasing her fantasy life . it is a very sad song if you really listen to the lyrics. I've Never Been to Me" was written for me by Ron Miller, he was my boyfriend at the time. I am Charlene the original Motown singer. My Book will be released titled "I've Never Been to Me" with the London show Priscilla Queen of the Desert" which features my song March 24th 2009. I have a new website being constructed as we speak. please check it out, I just want to say thank you to all my wonderful fans out there who have supported me all these years, I also want to post a note, I just lost my dearest friend Shawn Collins, he passed away suddenly, he was my best friend, and I will miss him forever.
    X
    Charlene
  • Kate from Exeter, United KingdomI'm surprised that there are so many moralistic people writing here who honestly think that this song is a positive message for women. this song is atrocious! Women are different, some will find the love of their lives and marry, some won't, some will travel the world, some will love where they are. Some of us want to have children, some of us don't. I don't see the point of morally judging this - and her line about "subtle whoring" is so vitriolic and embarassing. Having families is wonderful if that's what happens and that's what you want, but I wouldn't put down another woman who chose a different path. I have plenty of friends who love being mothers and a few who really struggle, and some who never will be. What's the deal? Heard of overpopulation and resource scacity? Some of the comments here are crazily judgemental and sorry girls writing here, but did feminism never happen? Women and men should be able to travel the world and not have children if they don't wish - what's with the 1940s christian ethic? No one is making you go travelling and sit in the sunset....When you read comments like this I really realise how extreme the Christian influence is in some parts of the US. I'm afraid that to us Europeans it can look very regressive and fundamentalist sometimes.
  • Ian from London, United KingdomI love this song it reminds me of good times spent dancing at my parents parties. I found this new version of her song at www.charlenehits.com. Is this her new site?
  • Sabrina from Corvallis, OrIt amazes me how many people here are criticizing this song who simply don't get it. Vomit inducing? Excuse me? It's clear to me you have not walked down paths that other people have walked otherwise you wouldn't make such an insensitive statement.

    I remember 1982 when this song came first came, and I remember it very well. Why? Because I could've been that "discontented mother" and "regimented wife" that the singer was referring to. There were a number of women at that time for whom that song either struck a chord or a nerve. I found it interesting because in retrospect, the lyrics on the surface do seem somewhat corny and a bit presumptuous, but when you get to the heart of the song, you see what she is trying to convey...and it's really not about feminism or anti-feminism at all. It's about the idea held by many people, be they women or men, that the grass is seems greener on the other side, but the singer is telling us that she's been to the "other side" and that things aren't always as they seem, and that we should be grateful for what we have in life...we should embrace reality, not chase after an empty fantasy.
  • Montse from Verdú, SpainThere is a moment in one of the "Shrek" films when Shrek goes into a bar to look for some people and one of the people in there is singing this song on stage. Then a closer look reveals a man dressed up as a woman.
    I love Randy Crawford's version. She has a wonderful voice!!
  • Alan from Northridge, CaOne of the pivotal things about this song, and the reason why some dislike it so, is the monologue. It is open to interpretation. Some people simply think the protagonist is talking about the most important things in life and find it to be a comforting message. Some very feminist-minded individuals take offense to this philosophy, believing that it wants to cast women solely in the roles of subservient housewives and mothers. Charlene's first album, CHARLENE (1976), has the mononologue. The re-packaged version of what is essentially the same album, SONGS OF LOVE (1977), does not contain the spoken section as it was deemed too feminist (or perhaps anti-feminist, depending on one's perspective). When the song became a huge hit in '82, it was the version with the monologue that was being played on the radio, so that's the take that Motown re-released.

    When the song laments "unborn children," you have to give some leeway for creative license. I think she's just saying she's sad because she never had any children. It doesn't need to be taken literally although you could make a case for it. The same way "regimented wife" simply is referring to her being in a rut, every day's the same, not necessarily that she is a battered woman whose whole life is dictated to her by an abusive husband. But again, some things are left open for interpretation. PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT pokes fun at the song in a way that is both humourous and affectionate.
  • Barbara from Miami, FlThe flip side to the 45 was "Use to Be" Duet with Stevie Wonder. Does anyone remember? It was a good song but I can't find it anywhere.
  • Lisa from Phoenix, AzI always thought this was a very haunting song. A beautiful voice that came through as a woman who was strong yet almost broken from the life she choose. I could hear the hint of harlot in her voice, later shame, when she bragged about the things that she'd done. I was a child when I heard this song. Maybe 10 years old. I understood it then as I understand it now; she would have loved to trade places with that mother & wife who had no regard for the blessings in her own life. And she tried her best to warn that woman that hers had been a wasted life, that, if the woman was considering leaving her family, she would be devastated by the realization of the truth.
  • Shelha C. Macasero from Cagayan De Oro City, Otheri just dont understand why there such people have so many comments on this song. i really love this song. this is one of my favorites. in fact, the lyrics is good, the melody is good. there are many good songs of charlene. i also like it ain't easy comin' down, use to be and there must be love somewhere in my life. this are rare good damn songs. i wish i had an album of this. sad to say, it didn't reach the album in our country. i heard this songs in the radio station way back 80's, since then i love it so much. i keep looking the album in the music store but its a " HARD TO FIND" . well, if there's someone out there that know this song, especially "there must be love somewhere in my life" please please do email me. i could die over this song.
  • Kevin Witt from Haymarket, VaWOW. I guess you can make any record and there will be fans somewhere. This is a true masterpiece in horrible music. This ranks right up there with "Feelings" for vomit inducing lyrics.
  • Rob from Nottinghamshire, EnglandThis is just a truly amazing song from a truly amazing film....(Priscilla, Queen of the Desert)gives me goosebumps every time I hear it!I'm divided on the line "i've been to crying for unborn children" is she suggesting that she's crying over an abortion she may have had? or that she has had too much of a pampered lifestyle to think or care about wanting children of her own? Is the song suggesting that it is an older woman telling her life story, and speaking of her regrets?? Fascinating song!!
  • Bob from Atlanta, GaEnjoyable song. I find interesting that the song is used in a feminist play, "Respect", yet it is about a lady who lives her life for herself only to find that she has missed out on the really important things that would have made her happy: the love of a man and having children.
  • Mike Longtin from Orlando, FlThis song is the musical answer to "Chicken Soup for the Soul." It's a fine lesson to any of today's youths who value style over substance, pizzazz over punctuality, glitz over God.
  • Albert from Quezon, OtherHello people, nice comments! :)
    I remember liking this song when I first heard it, i was just in our house, about 12 yrs old and voila! there you go...
    The intro goes soft then a cool refreshing voice emerges, it captivated me...

    But what more captivates me is the meaning, it haunted me till high school and tried to research its lyrics. Pretty damn deep! he he he.
    I eve try to interpret this in my own during breaktime with my officemates with the song playing in background. I just realized that I got sensitive with it, and my officemates discovered that this song is cool, can be interpreted in your own democratic thinking. Its hard to find songs this kind nowadays, cool, poetic, strong convicted,...great day to all
  • Obelixhubby from Kl, MalaysiaWow ! i din know there r so many facts and comments on a song ! I heard this song few years back and this song really did make an impact on me. 1st time i hear it, i imagine myself somewhere sipping a cup of coffee, sitting down, surrounded with people and just watch people walk pass me. I watched a movie before that says, a good song last forever.... and i guess this song really will last forever....
  • Shawn from Los Angeles, CaThere are alot of misconceptions about this song... you can read the female and male lyrics and learn more about its creation at Charlene's Official Site: www.charlenesmusic.com
  • Michele from Valencia, CaTo Sam, Caribou, ME - i am not going to argue re: this song's meaning. Only want to tell you that Charlene is a mother to 3 daughters - 2 of whom I know quite well (and by the way are strong Christians, beautiful, smart and talented). I attend church with her and her family every week. She's a really nice person, and very devoted to Christ. I don't think her life has been lived in the way you 'guessed' at all. Very strong judgement coming from a place of ignorance. Start your day by looking in the mirror and worrying about that person.
  • Al from Lafayette, LaTo Sam, whenever a reference is made to the "unborn", please know that this without a doubt is about a woman who is with child, better known as pregnant.It's a poetic way of saying "fetus". No one politized anything. This song is a lamenting of one woman's regrets and a warning to those that desire to follow in her footsteps. This song changed my life, back in 82, when my girlfriend told me she was late.
    Like the moron I was then, I ask, late for what?
    Very good song structure, good melody, well arranged, but more importantly the lyric is right on, for then as well today. Peace.
  • John from Seattle, WaA CNN poll released 4-26-2006 rated this song as 4th worst of all time, behind "You're Having My Baby," "Muskrat Love," and "You Light Up My Life."
  • Pc from Usa, United StatesI heard this song when it was first released. I was 17yrs old and planning my future.I thank God for this song ,in the beginning I played by all the rules live today for today and don't worry about the conquences.I was never happy but had a lot of fun.One night I went to bed listening to this song and had a dream (I was about to turn down my seventh marriage proposal)that all the fun I was having was like candy in a candy store,that it is only sweet for a while,and there was a bottle of vitamins on the countertop of this candy store. The voice behind the counter pushed forward the bottle of vitamins and said "candy it is sweet and fun but it only last for a short time then you have cavities,but vitamins last for a life time it takes care of you,nurtures you,take it and live".When I had awaken I then understood what Charlene was saying in that song. Today I am a bornagain Christian,and I believe God used her song to help me steer my life according to His will.I've been happily married to that man(whom I call my bottle of vitamins,my seventh proposal)for 27and half years.Today's Music should have a postive impact on it's listeners.
  • Azlan from Malaysia, MalaysiaThis song has really a lot of meaning in it. It can be used to guide all of us in this new milenium. Everyone is having fun and looking for materialistic without leaving behind their blood member to carry on the generation.
    Azlan-Malaysia
  • Terry from Northampton, EnglandIn 1982 i made a list of my favourite singles of all time."Ive Never Been To Me" was in second place on that list.Now,almost 24 years later it still remains in second place.A truly classic song that i never grow tired of listening to.Gavin from West Midlands,yes,she does have a marvellous voice and youre lucky to be working with her.Of all the songs ever released by female solo singers this one has never been (to me) toppled.
    -Terry,Northampton,England
  • Mac from San Francisco, CaMy friend and i have compiled a list of the 400+ worst songs of the 60's and 70's and this song is hands down the worst, most god- awful "tune" we have ever heard. i hated this song when it came out in 1977 and if you can belive it i absolutely loathe it now.
  • Da from London, EnglandRandy Crawfords version is infinitely superior.
  • Gc from Earth, United StatesThe song is one of my all time favorit, simply because it's an excellent demonstration of good music. Smooth melody, a great voice, and sincerely saying something in a simple yet elegant manner. I won't even care to dig into the abortion bit of it, everyone can disagree and to have different views on all sort of things. I like the song because whenever I listen to it (for well over twenty years and still feeling the same), it's like listening to Charlene confiding and telling story in her sweet voice that not just please my ears, it also touches my heart (and I might not necessarily have to agree with her, or share her feelings), just like listening to what a good old friend has to say. That's what I call good music.
  • Sam from Caribou, MeThis song is great, but where do you people get that there's anything to do with abortion in it? She spent her life running around, living the fast life, got to menopause having neglected to ever settle down or have kids. Now she's past her prime, no one will marry her, and she's too old to have kids and has some regrets that she only lived a life of fun. "Unborn children" doesn't mean aborted children; it's just children she never had... because she was too busy partying and jetsetting. The cost of the "subtle whoring" is that she never found the true love of a faithful husband and loving family, not that she got knocked up and pulled the plug on it. The whole "never been to me" fits right in with that sense, whereas it makes no sense if you look at this as an anti-abortion song. I swear, some people need to politicize everything.
  • Leef from Baton Rouge, LaI remember this song from when I was a kid. It seemed to me women liked it for some feminist reasons, but examining the lyrics they seem to preach the opposite of that. I never caught the abortion thing... I hated the song but thought the point was "I've done everything except get to know who I really am..", and I thought that was cool, but "the only fulfilling thing a woman can be is a mother and wife" is kinda Phyllis Schlafly conservative propaganda. You can have both an adventurous life and a family, which will probably be better of because of it.
  • Joost from Amsterdam, NetherlandsThe lyrics of this song - they are cynical right? She's singing about the great life she's had, then teaching bored and boring housewives it's not that nice after all... without any clue to why, but enough to let the gray dull girls think their life's possibly not as bad as they feel everyday.. subtle sarcasm...
    If this is the way I should listen to it... great song!
  • Craig from San Leandro, CaThis has got to be one of the worst, syrupy songs of all time. For sure on my top 10 worst songs of all time...and pretty close to the # 1 spot!
  • Keith from Slc, UtAre you sure about the chronology? I seem to remember the "short" (no spoken part) having been on LA radio first. The version that I have, from the 1980s, features a spoken passage ("Do you know what Paradise is? It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be . . .") which tells the younger woman to cherish her husband. The song is surprisingly inspirational, underrated, and should be included in every quickie-divorce application kit.

  • Jack from Baltimore, MdOn an episode of Saturday Night Live, Rachel Dratch played Barbara Walters on Weekend Update. She was supposed to interview herself before she retired from 20/20. She ended the interview asking herself about her mother and made herself cry (like Barbara does to all celebrities) then ends the session singing "I've Never Been To Me." This episode was hosted by Megan Mullally (from Will & Grace.)
  • Debbie from Winthrop, MaThis a good song for young girls to listen to who are heading in the wrong direction in life.
  • Gavin from West Midlands, Englandfor those of you wondering what happened to charlene, she's in the studio working in england with me at the moment, and she has a truly marvellous voice!
  • Gavin from Sydney, Australia"I wish someone had talked to me like I wanna talk to you" suggests that no-one told her how awful abortion is/was.
  • Tiffany from Dover, FlMy mother and I sang this song on the Magic Singalong Karaoke System because it's one of our favorite songs. I thought that it's a great song to feature in one of today's movies, but I didn't know it was already featured in one written a decade ago named The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert! Again, this is one of many songs that can warm the heart.
  • Tiffany from Dover, FlOne of my favorite songs!
  • Sarah from Ottawa, CanadaI did not like this song for a while, but I have to admit now, it's not such a bad song.
  • Dan from Hicksville , NyThe best album of this year.
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