Dinner At Eight

Album: Want One (2003)
Play Video

Songfacts®:

  • Rufus wrote this song about his father, the singer Loudon Wainwright III, after a row they had over dinner.

    In 1976, when Rufus was just 3 years old, his parents split. His mother, the singer Kate McGarrigle, took Rufus and his younger sister Martha and moved them Bedford, New York to Montreal in a U-Haul van, which Rufus sings about in the line, "In the drifting white snow you left me."
  • Rufus' father says he wasn't offended by this song - he was actually proud of his son as he considered it some of his best work. The two have a complicated relationship which is amplified by their profession: They write songs about each other that serve as a strange form of family therapy. In 2012, Rufus appeared on a song with Loudon called "The Days That We Die," where they seem to come to terms with each other, admitting that neither man will ever change.
  • Rufus Wainwright explained to The Guardian in 2005 why he penned this blow-by-blow report of a confrontation with his father, Loudon Wainwright III. Rufus had recently released his debut album and had turned cocky, which he used as a coping mechanism to make it in the music industry. He and Loudon had done a photo shoot and interview for Rolling Stone together in Shelter Island, New York. "I told him he must be really happy that I got him back in that magazine after all these years," Rufus recalled. "That sort of kicked things off. Later in the evening he threatened to kill me. So I went home and wrote 'Dinner At Eight' as a vindictive retort to his threat."

    Rufus and his dad didn't speak for a long time after the incident.
  • In a 2020 Songfacts interview with Wainwright, he explained how this song changed meaning for him over the years. "It was very much intended as a shot over the bow to my father," he said. "Kind of a warning, and in an aggressive mood. But the more I sing it and the older I get - and myself being a father now, too - I realize it's just a complete cry for love, and for coming together and coming to terms with the world. So, that song kind of went from an aggressive song to a very sensitive and loving song."
  • Rufus' mother, Kate McGarrigle, played the accordion on this song.

Comments: 2

  • Elle from Seattle, WaThis is a song about Loudon Wainwright III, Rufus' father. He says on his Want DVD that he wrote it after he and his father did a shoot for Vanity Fair, and Rufus said to Loudon that he (Rufus) had got them on the cover, and Loudon reacted badly ("it was great until these old magazines got us started up again"). They didn't talk for some time. Rufus wrote the song early enough that it could have been on Poses, but he wasn't ready to release it then, and so, with his father's blessing, it was included on Want One instead.
  • Andy from New York, Nyis father and mother separted when he was thee. He had a confrontation with his father about this in a resaurant and it ended with his father threatening to kill him. He went home and wrote this song. Abandonment by his father is a reoceuring theme
see more comments

Editor's Picks

Justin Timberlake

Justin TimberlakeFact or Fiction

Was Justin the first to be Punk'd by Ashton Kutcher? Did Britney really blame him for her meltdown? Did his bandmates think he was gay?

80s Video Director Jay Dubin

80s Video Director Jay DubinSong Writing

Billy Joel and Hall & Oates hated making videos, so they chose a director with similar contempt for the medium. That was Jay Dubin, and he has a lot to say on the subject.

John Waite

John WaiteSongwriter Interviews

"Missing You" was a spontaneous outpouring of emotion triggered by a phone call. John tells that story and explains what MTV meant to his career.

Songs in Famous Movie Scenes: Tarantino Edition

Songs in Famous Movie Scenes: Tarantino EditionMusic Quiz

Whether he's splitting ears or burning Nazis, Quentin Tarantino uses memorable music in his films. See if you can match the song to the scene.

Don Brewer of Grand Funk

Don Brewer of Grand FunkSongwriter Interviews

The drummer and one of the primary songwriters in Grand Funk talks rock stardom and Todd Rundgren.

Ben Kowalewicz of Billy Talent

Ben Kowalewicz of Billy TalentSongwriter Interviews

The frontman for one of Canada's most well-known punk rock bands talks about his Eddie Vedder encounter, Billy Talent's new album, and the importance of rock and roll.