Bad Day

Album: Asleep in the Bread Aisle (2009)
  • songfacts ®
  • Lyrics
  • Uh, and it just keeps goin (yeah)
    And it just keeps

    So I'm in the airport getting ready to leave
    Heading to a friend's wedding in the N.Y.C.
    But my head has been spinning, I'm forgetting to eat
    All this jet setting has been really getting to me
    It's already 11:20, I'm ready to sleep
    But instead I end up sitting in a 27-C
    An aisle seat, fine by me
    But the guy that's inside's always trying to pee
    With a wild child behind me, he's crying and keeps
    Flipping out and kicking at me while he violently screams
    So I silently plea, oh God, please
    Let there be a honey sitting 27-B
    But of course some morbidly obese
    Beast is in the seat that wheezes when he breathes
    Dude sitting D is at least three deep
    And he keeps telling me what is wrong with his knees (I got bad knees)
    Osgood-Schlatter, just need water
    But for a bottle they charge two dollars (what?)
    And when I thought that it couldn't get worse
    I forgot my iPod

    I'm having a bad day
    Nothing ever seems to go my way
    Everybody needs to go away
    Why? Because I'm having a bad day, yeah
    Hey hey, and it just keeps going (keep going)
    And it just keeps (going on!)
    And it just keeps going (keep going)
    And it just keeps (going on)

    So four hours and turbulence
    We land when I'm about to turd in my pants
    But the captain has "Seat belt fastened"
    So my ass is just passing gas and
    Then at last I escaped from the plane
    When I'm minutes away from clinically insane
    I make my way towards baggage claim
    When I hear a high-pitched voice scream my name (Asher!)
    Some dumb bitch I went to high school with
    While she's sweating she's telling me she likes my shit
    I just smile and think, 'bout how great it would be
    If I could just hit this chick with a quick leg sweep (leg sweep)
    So I pick up my L.L. Bean
    And beeline for the next taxi
    In need of weed, and boxer briefs
    But my bag's only got Maxi's


    I check in to my hotel room
    And I pick up my cell phone to dial the groom
    Tell him my mood and I'm ordering food
    And I'm probably gonna stay in and watch a movie
    But the tube has no HBO (what?)
    So anything I want, yo I'm paying fo'
    But I'm lame and broke, so I'm laying in a robe
    Watching that "Little People, Big World" show
    Right then there's a knock at the door
    It's my last hope for a Spanish whore
    Who will change my sheets in exchange for penis
    "Hi, I've lost my cat; have you seen it?"
    Jesus, this day is the worst
    At least I can give Little Me a jerk
    And then go to sleep, healthy and disease-less
    It guess it could be worse; but I'm just


    Publisher: Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind
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