Catholic Girls

Album: Joe's Garage (1979)
  • (Well)
    Catholic Girls
    With a tiny little mustache
    Catholic Girls
    Do you know how they go?
    Catholic Girls
    In the Rectory Basement
    Father Riley's a fairy
    But it don't bother Mary

    Catholic Girls
    At the CYO
    Catholic Girls
    Do you know how they go?
    Catholic Girls
    There can be no replacement
    How do they go, after the show?

    Joe:
    All the way
    That's the way they go
    Every day
    And none of their mamas ever seem to know
    Hip-Hip-Hooray
    For all the class they show
    There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
    At the CYO
    When they learn to blow . . .

    Father Riley:
    They're learning to blow
    All the Catholic Boys!

    Mary:
    Warren Cuccurullo . . .

    Father Riley:
    Catholic Boys!

    Mary:
    Kinda young, kinda WOW!

    Father Riley:
    Catholic Boys!

    Mary:
    Vinnie Colaiuta . . .

    Chorus:
    Where are they now?
    Did they all take The Vow?

    Father Riley:
    Catholic Girls!

    Warren:
    Carmenita Scarfone!

    Father Riley:
    Catholic Girls!

    Officer Butzis:
    Hey! She gave me VD!

    Father Riley:
    Catholic Girls!

    Warren:
    Toni Carbone!

    Chorus:
    With a tongue like a cow
    She could make you go WOW!

    Joe:
    VD Vowdy vootie
    Right away
    That's the way they go
    Every day
    Whenever their mamas take them to a show
    Matinee
    Pass the popcorn please
    There's nothing like a Catholic Girl
    With her hand in the box
    When she's on her knees

    Larry:
    She was on her knees
    My little Catholic Girl

    Chorus:
    In a little white dress
    Catholic Girls
    They never confess
    Catholic Girls
    I got one for a cousin
    I love how they go
    So send me a dozen
    Catholic Girls
    OOOOOOH!
    (Well well well)
    Catholic Girls
    (Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-mum)
    Yai-ee-ahhh!
    Catholic Girls
    OOOOOOH!
    (Well well now)
    Catholic Girls
    (Ma-ma-mum ma-ma-ma-ma-mum)
    Yai-ee-ahhh!
    Catholic Girls
    (Ma-ma ma-ma-maaah)
    OOOOOOH!
    Catholic Girls
    Yai-ee-ahhh!
    (Well well)
    Catholic Girls
    (Ma-ma ma-ma-ma-mum)
    OOOOOOH!
    (Ma-ma ma-ma ma-mum)
    Catholic Girls
    Yai-ee-ahhh!
    (Ma-ma ma-ma-ma-mum)
    Catholic Girls
    OOOOOOH!
    Catholic Girls
    Yai-ee-ahhh!

    Central Scrutinizer:
    The is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . .
    Joe had a girl friend named Mary.
    She used to go to the church club every week.
    They'd meet each other there
    Hold hands
    And think Pure Thoughts Writer/s: Frank Zappa
    Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 1

  • Dan from North Haven, CtI grew up on frank's music and when I went to a catholic high school (class of 85) i was criticized by the head brother/principal/priest for wearing a zappa pin on my jacket (that's right folks, I started that fad in 1980) and he told me zappa was no good cuz he wrote a song about catholic girls going to CYO and were learning to give head there (paraphrasing). I was too much of a green horn to argue with him so I took the button off. If I was older and wiser I would have let him kow that I got my first ****job on a bus on a cyo field trip............thanks frank for all you gave us RIP
see more comments

Editor's Picks

AC/DC

AC/DCFact or Fiction

Does Angus really drink himself silly? Did their name come from a sewing machine? See if you can spot the real stories about AC/DC.

Van Dyke Parks

Van Dyke ParksSongwriter Interviews

U2, Carly Simon, Joanna Newsom, Brian Wilson and Fiona Apple have all gone to Van Dyke Parks to make their songs exceptional.

Black Sabbath

Black SabbathFact or Fiction

Dwarfs on stage with an oversize Stonehenge set? Dabbling in Satanism? Find out which Spinal Tap-moments were true for Black Sabbath.

How "A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss" Became Rock's Top Proverb

How "A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss" Became Rock's Top ProverbSong Writing

How a country weeper and a blues number made "rolling stone" the most popular phrase in rock.

Matthew Wilder - "Break My Stride"

Matthew Wilder - "Break My Stride"They're Playing My Song

Wilder's hit "Break My Stride" had an unlikely inspiration: a famous record mogul who rejected it.

Joe Jackson

Joe JacksonSongwriter Interviews

Joe talks about the challenges of of making a Duke Ellington tribute album, and tells the stories behind some of his hits.