Bruce's Philosophers Song

Album: Matching Tie And Handkerchief (1973)
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  • Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
    Who was very rarely stable
    Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
    Who could think you under the table

    David Hume could out-consume
    Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
    And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
    Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel

    There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
    'Bout the raising of the wrist
    Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed

    John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
    On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill
    Plato, they say, could stick it away
    Half a crate of whiskey every day

    Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
    Hobbes was fond of his dram
    And René Descartes was a drunken fart
    "I drink, therefore I am"

    Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
    A lovely little thinker
    Publisher: Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 6

  • A HSchopenhauer and Hegel
  • John from Marlborough, MaIn england getting pissed means getting drunk.
  • Allie from A Little Ol' Town In, Mithis song is so hard to sing along to. The live version is hilarious!! The crowd tries to sing along and they just totally screw up!!!
  • Will from Portland, OrMonty python is greatt!
  • Lauren from Maryville, MoSome friends of mine years ago who were in a Celtic folk band cite this as an example of "mouth music" -- that is, a cappella music that is meant to sound like musical instruments. I think they were onto something.
  • Jeff from Haltom City, TxThe lyrics of this would make a great tongue twister! Try singing them for yourself, three times fast.
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