Album: Dark Matter (2017)
  • Putin puttin' his pants on
    One leg at a time
    You mean he's just like a regular fella, huh?
    He ain't nothing like a regular fella

    Putin puttin' his hat on
    Hat size number nine
    "You sayin' Putin's gettin' big headed?"
    Putin's head's just fine

    He can drive his giant tractor
    Across the Trans-Siberian plain
    He can power a nuclear reactor
    With the left side of his brain
    And when he takes his shirt off
    He drives the ladies crazy
    When he takes his shirt off
    Makes me wanna be a lady
    It's the Putin Girls!

    Putin if you put it when you put it where you put it
    Putin if you put it will you put it next to me?
    Putin if you put it when you put it where you put it
    Putin if you put it will you put it next to me?

    Now Putin hates the Putin girls
    'Cause he hates vulgarity
    And he loves his mother country
    And he loves his family

    He and his ex-wife Lyudmila
    Are riding along the shore of the beautiful new Russian Black Sea
    Let's listen in, a great man is speaking

    We fought a war for this?
    I'm almost ashamed
    The Mediterranean
    Now there's a resort worth fighting for
    If only the Greeks or the Turks
    Would start to sniff around
    I'd bring the hammer down
    So quick their woolly heads would spin
    Woolly head, woolly head, woolly head

    Or, wait a minute
    Even better
    What if the Kurds got in the way?
    Hey! Kurds and way, curds and whey!

    Sometimes a people is greater than their leader
    Germany, Kentucky, and France
    Sometimes a leader towers over his country
    One shot at glory, they don't get a second chance
    I dragged these peasants kicking and screaming
    Into the 21st century
    I thought they'd make it
    I must have been dreaming
    These chicken farmers and file clerks gonna be the death of me

    I can't do it
    Sure, you can
    I can't do it
    Yeah, you can
    What makes you say that girls?
    Tell you why, 'cause you're the Putin man
    Who whipped Napoleon?
    We did!
    Who won World War II?
    The Americans!
    That's a good one ladies
    It's our turn to sit in the comfy chair
    And you're the man gonna get us there!

    I don't know, Lenin couldn't do it
    I don't know, Stalin couldn't do it
    Now they couldn't do it
    Why you think I can?
    You're gonna lead our people to the Promised Land
    You're right, 'cause, Goddamn, I'm the Putin Man Writer/s: RANDY NEWMAN
    Publisher: Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind


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