The Great Debate

Album: Dark Matter (2017)
  • Welcome, welcome, welcome
    To this great arena
    Durham, North Carolina
    The heart of the research triangle
    We've come to this particular place tonight
    We've gotta look at things from every angle
    We need some answers to some complicated questions
    If we're going to get it right
    To that end we have here gathered
    Some of the most expensive scientists in the world
    Eminent scientists, that is
    We got biologists, biometricians
    We got a quantum mechanic and astrophysicians
    We got a cosmologist and cosmeticians
    We got an astronaut, we got an astroboy

    We got he-doctors, she-doctors
    Knee doctors, tea doctors
    We got a lumberjack and a life coach

    On the other side, we have the true believers
    We got the Baptists, the Methodists, the Presbyterians
    Episcopalians are here, pass the hat
    We got the Shakers, the Quakers
    The anti-innoculators
    The big-boss line from Madison Town
    The Six Blind Boys, Five Tons of Joy
    Give 'em room or get outta the way
    We got a Bible-belter from the Mississippi delta
    Have them all arraigned

    Scientists, are you ready?
    First question
    Dark matter
    Ooh, dark matter
    Get me someone who knows somethin' about space
    Nice space music, Georgie
    Alright, what is it?
    Where is it?
    Can we get some?
    Stand up sir, what's your-
    You are standing, forgive me
    Dark matter, go ahead

    Dark matter is out in space
    It's seventy-five percent of everything
    Just a moment, sir
    Do yourself a favor, use our music, people like it and
    Your music's making people sick
    Alright, it's a free country
    Go ahead with dark matter, what is it?
    We don't know what it is
    But we think it's everywhere
    I'll take a look at it
    Can we get someone down here?
    Of course not!

    Let me get this straight
    You don't know what it is
    You don't know where it is
    And we can't get any
    Put that to the one side
    Let's put the Lord, faith, eternity
    Whatever on the other side
    Show 'em Vance

    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime

    Next one is going to be a hard one
    It's about the theory of evolution
    And it's about animals also
    So get me someone who knows somethin' about evolution and animals
    Who you got?

    You're a beautiful woman, aren't you?
    It doesn't matter of course
    This science thing doesn't work out for you
    Don't boo me, don't boo me
    I'm just kidding, you know that
    Here's my question
    Explain me the giraffe
    Go ahead
    Elaborate with pleasure, miss
    The giraffe, to survive, must eat leaves high up on the Yabba Yabba tree
    That's true, isn't it?
    Of course it is, everyone knows that
    But Mr. Darwin's giraffe, a half-way giraffe, with a half-way giraffe neck
    Could never reach the highest branches of the Yabba Yabba
    Therefore, it could not have survived
    It's only common sense
    Unfortunately for you, Mr. Charles Darwin didn't have any common sense
    Evolution is a theory
    And we have just now, tonight, disproved it
    Show of hands

    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    I'll take Jesus, I'll take Jesus
    I'll take Jesus everytime
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    Yes, I would
    I'll take Jesus everytime

    Alright, two-nothing
    Next question, global warming
    Is it? And if so, so what?
    One the true believers seems to be recognized
    Hand over a mic, Charles
    Thank you

    Sir, you know what you are
    You're an idiot
    You're a strong man, a fabrication
    You see, the author of this little vignette, Mr. Newman
    Self-described atheist and communist
    Creates characters like you as objects of ridicule
    He doesn't to believe anything he has you say
    Nor does he want us to believe anything you say
    Makes it easy for him to knock you down, hence a strong man
    I myself, believe in Jesus
    I believe in evolution also
    I believe in global warming
    And in life everlasting
    No one can knock me down

    Oh, we can knock you down, mister
    We can knock your communist friend down, too
    Communist? He called me an idiot
    We've been knocking people like Mr. Newman down for years and years
    Like this, sir
    Page 35 Georgie
    Miss Dorothy, page 35

    I know someone is watching me
    Everywhere I go
    Someone sees everything I see
    Knows everything I know
    When I'm in trouble, don't have a friend
    It's him somebody who I can be friends with
    Someone who'll be there till the very end
    Someone is watching me

    Someone is watching me
    Someone is watching me
    For so long I was too blind to see
    Someone is watching
    Someone is watching
    Someone is watching me

    Take a look back, ladies and gentlemen
    15, 20, 25 minutes
    Depending on how the merchandise is moving
    We'll be right back Writer/s: Randy Newman
    Publisher: Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind


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