Bald

Album: One Way Ticket To Hell And Back (2005)
Play Video
  • It would appear that male pattern
    Baldness has set in
    His hair, at an alarming pace
    Running away from his face
    He's losing his virility
    And now his masculinity
    Has been compromised
    And his libido down-sized

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

    From what I have been reading
    His scalp needs kneading
    To stimulate each follicle
    And reverse this diabolical
    Condition that's afflicted he
    For years and has cruelly
    Repulsed each potential mate
    And left him with a balding pate

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

    Sock it to me baby, yeah!

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
    Thank God!

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
    How? Writer/s: DANIEL FRANCIS HAWKINS, EDWIN JAMES GRAHAM, FRANCIS GILLES POULLAIN-PATTERSON, JUSTIN DAVID HAWKINS
    Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 3

  • Danny from Sydney, AustraliaI saw them live in Sydney last month. When they did bald, Justin played the solo on a security gaurd's shoulders as he was carried through the croud. Justin came within 70cm of me. I am now sure that the Darkness are one of the greatest rock bands of all time, Justin Hawkins is one of the greatest frontmen of all time and, as B said, bald is one of the greatest rock songs of all time. Long live the Darkness.
  • Beau from Victoria, AustraliaI also think it's funny that Richie Edwards, the new bassist, is completely bald, slap headed and hairless. Haha, they have a great sense of humour. It would be great to see a film clip for this song.
  • B from MelbourneThis is quite possibly the greatest rock song of all time. It's incredibly underrated, and I really hope The Darkness release it as a single some time soon.
see more comments

Editor's Picks

They Might Be Giants

They Might Be GiantsSongwriter Interviews

Who writes a song about a name they found in a phone book? That's just one of the everyday things these guys find to sing about. Anything in their field of vision or general scope of knowledge is fair game. If you cross paths with them, so are you.

Director Nick Morris ("The Final Countdown")

Director Nick Morris ("The Final Countdown")Song Writing

Nick made some of the biggest videos on MTV, including "The Final Countdown," "Heaven" and "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)."

Barney Hoskyns Explores The Forgotten History Of Woodstock, New York

Barney Hoskyns Explores The Forgotten History Of Woodstock, New YorkSong Writing

Our chat with Barney Hoskyns, who covers the wild years of Woodstock - the town, not the festival - in his book Small Town Talk.

Ralph Casale  - Session Pro

Ralph Casale - Session ProSongwriter Interviews

A top New York studio musician, Ralph played guitar on many '60s hits, including "Lightnin' Strikes," "A Lover's Concerto" and "I Am A Rock."

Petula Clark

Petula ClarkSongwriter Interviews

Petula talks about her hits "Downtown" and "Don't Sleep In The Subway," and explains her Michael Jackson connection.

Johnette Napolitano of Concrete Blonde

Johnette Napolitano of Concrete BlondeSongwriter Interviews

The singer/bassist for Concrete Blonde talks about how her songs come from clairvoyance, and takes us through the making of their hit "Joey."