Bald

Album: One Way Ticket To Hell And Back (2005)
Play Video
  • It would appear that male pattern
    Baldness has set in
    His hair, at an alarming pace
    Running away from his face
    He's losing his virility
    And now his masculinity
    Has been compromised
    And his libido down-sized

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

    From what I have been reading
    His scalp needs kneading
    To stimulate each follicle
    And reverse this diabolical
    Condition that's afflicted he
    For years and has cruelly
    Repulsed each potential mate
    And left him with a balding pate

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

    Sock it to me baby, yeah!

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
    Thank God!

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
    How? Writer/s: DANIEL FRANCIS HAWKINS, EDWIN JAMES GRAHAM, FRANCIS GILLES POULLAIN-PATTERSON, JUSTIN DAVID HAWKINS
    Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 3

  • Danny from Sydney, AustraliaI saw them live in Sydney last month. When they did bald, Justin played the solo on a security gaurd's shoulders as he was carried through the croud. Justin came within 70cm of me. I am now sure that the Darkness are one of the greatest rock bands of all time, Justin Hawkins is one of the greatest frontmen of all time and, as B said, bald is one of the greatest rock songs of all time. Long live the Darkness.
  • Beau from Victoria, AustraliaI also think it's funny that Richie Edwards, the new bassist, is completely bald, slap headed and hairless. Haha, they have a great sense of humour. It would be great to see a film clip for this song.
  • B from MelbourneThis is quite possibly the greatest rock song of all time. It's incredibly underrated, and I really hope The Darkness release it as a single some time soon.
see more comments

Editor's Picks

Jim Adkins of Jimmy Eat World

Jim Adkins of Jimmy Eat WorldSongwriter Interviews

Jim talks about the impact of "The Middle" and uses a tree metaphor to describe his songwriting philosophy.

Weezer

WeezerFact or Fiction

Did Rivers Cuomo grow up on a commune? Why did they name their albums after colors? See how well you know your Weezer in this Fact or Fiction.

Charlotte Caffey of The Go-Go's

Charlotte Caffey of The Go-Go'sSongwriter Interviews

Charlotte was established in the LA punk scene when a freaky girl named Belinda approached her wearing a garbage bag.

Music Video Director David Hogan

Music Video Director David HoganSong Writing

David talks about videos he made for Prince, Alabama, Big & Rich, Sheryl Crow, DMB, Melissa Etheridge and Sisters of Mercy.

Edwin McCain

Edwin McCainSongwriter Interviews

"I'll Be" was what Edwin called his "Hail Mary" song. He says it proves "intention of the songwriter is 180 degrees from potential interpretation by an audience."

Chris Squire of Yes

Chris Squire of YesSongwriter Interviews

One of the most dynamic bass player/songwriters of his time, Chris is the only member of Yes who has been with the band since they formed in 1968.