Bald

Album: One Way Ticket To Hell And Back (2005)
Play Video
  • It would appear that male pattern
    Baldness has set in
    His hair, at an alarming pace
    Running away from his face
    He's losing his virility
    And now his masculinity
    Has been compromised
    And his libido down-sized

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

    From what I have been reading
    His scalp needs kneading
    To stimulate each follicle
    And reverse this diabolical
    Condition that's afflicted he
    For years and has cruelly
    Repulsed each potential mate
    And left him with a balding pate

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.

    Sock it to me baby, yeah!

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
    Not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
    Thank God!

    Bald, slap headed and hairless
    Bald he is destined to be
    Bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
    How? Writer/s: DANIEL FRANCIS HAWKINS, EDWIN JAMES GRAHAM, FRANCIS GILLES POULLAIN-PATTERSON, JUSTIN DAVID HAWKINS
    Publisher: Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 3

  • Danny from Sydney, AustraliaI saw them live in Sydney last month. When they did bald, Justin played the solo on a security gaurd's shoulders as he was carried through the croud. Justin came within 70cm of me. I am now sure that the Darkness are one of the greatest rock bands of all time, Justin Hawkins is one of the greatest frontmen of all time and, as B said, bald is one of the greatest rock songs of all time. Long live the Darkness.
  • Beau from Victoria, AustraliaI also think it's funny that Richie Edwards, the new bassist, is completely bald, slap headed and hairless. Haha, they have a great sense of humour. It would be great to see a film clip for this song.
  • B from MelbourneThis is quite possibly the greatest rock song of all time. It's incredibly underrated, and I really hope The Darkness release it as a single some time soon.
see more comments

Editor's Picks

Janis Ian: Married in London, but not in New York

Janis Ian: Married in London, but not in New YorkSong Writing

Can you be married in one country but not another? Only if you're part of a gay couple. One of the first famous singers to come out as a lesbian, Janis wrote a song about it.

George Harrison

George HarrisonFact or Fiction

Did Eric Clapton really steal George's wife? What's the George Harrison-Monty Python connection? Set the record straight with our Fact or Fiction quiz.

Deconstructing Doors Songs With The Author Of The Doors Examined

Deconstructing Doors Songs With The Author Of The Doors ExaminedSong Writing

Doors expert Jim Cherry, author of The Doors Examined, talks about some of their defining songs and exposes some Jim Morrison myths.

Francesca Battistelli

Francesca BattistelliSongwriter Interviews

The 2011 Artist of the Year at the Dove Awards isn't your typical gospel diva, and she thinks that's a good thing.

Randy Newman

Randy NewmanSongwriting Legends

Newman makes it look easy these days, but in this 1974 interview, he reveals the paranoia and pressures that made him yearn for his old 9-5 job.

Bill Withers

Bill WithersSongwriter Interviews

Soul music legend Bill Withers on how life experience and the company you keep leads to classic songs like "Lean On Me."