Bald

Album: One Way Ticket To Hell And Back (2005)

Songfacts®:

  • Darkness frontman Justin Hawkins has a full, luxurious set of hair that looks great in front of a wind machine. It's part of his rock star essentials kit, along with skin-tight trousers and blithe disconcern. In bald, he pities those who who are "slap headed and hairless":

    Heaven forbid
    It's not for me you understand
  • The line, "Well tonight thank god it's him instead of me" is directed at Bono, the lead singer of U2. In the 1984, Band Aid song "Do They Know It's Christmas?," Bono sang the infamous line, "Well tonight thank god it's them instead of you." At the time One Way Ticket To Hell And Back was being recorded, lead singer Justin Hawkins and Bono quarreled after Bono gave Hawkins permission to sing his line in the remake of "Do They Know It's Christmas" because Hawkins said Bono's voice was shaky after hearing him re-sing the line. Bono got upset and maintained that Hawkins stole the line from him and they have clashed ever since. Hawkins thought it would be funny to manipulate Bono's infamous line to deride him in song or possibly even write an entire song about his impending hair loss. >>
    Suggestion credit:
    Beau - Victoria, Australia

Comments: 3

  • Danny from Sydney, AustraliaI saw them live in Sydney last month. When they did bald, Justin played the solo on a security gaurd's shoulders as he was carried through the croud. Justin came within 70cm of me. I am now sure that the Darkness are one of the greatest rock bands of all time, Justin Hawkins is one of the greatest frontmen of all time and, as B said, bald is one of the greatest rock songs of all time. Long live the Darkness.
  • Beau from Victoria, AustraliaI also think it's funny that Richie Edwards, the new bassist, is completely bald, slap headed and hairless. Haha, they have a great sense of humour. It would be great to see a film clip for this song.
  • B from MelbourneThis is quite possibly the greatest rock song of all time. It's incredibly underrated, and I really hope The Darkness release it as a single some time soon.
see more comments

Editor's Picks

Janis Ian

Janis IanSongwriter Interviews

One of the first successful female singer-songwriters, Janis had her first hit in 1967 at age 15.

Rick Springfield

Rick SpringfieldSongwriter Interviews

Rick has a surprising dark side, a strong feminine side and, in a certain TV show, a naked backside. But he still hasn't found Jessie's Girl.

Tommy James

Tommy JamesSongwriter Interviews

"Mony Mony." "Crimson and Clover." "Draggin' The Line." The hits kept coming for Tommy James, and in a plot line fit for a movie, his record company was controlled by the mafia.

Gentle Giant

Gentle GiantSongwriter Interviews

If counterpoint and polyrhythms are your thing, you might love these guys. Even by Progressive Rock standards, they were one of the most intricate bands of the '70s. Then their lead singer gave us Bon Jovi.

Jello Biafra

Jello BiafraSongwriter Interviews

The former Dead Kennedys frontman on the past, present and future of the band, what music makes us "pliant and stupid," and what he learned from Alice Cooper.

The Police

The PoliceFact or Fiction

Do their first three albums have French titles? Is "De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da" really meaningless? See if you can tell in this Fact or Fiction.