The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota

Album: UHF - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack and Other Stuff (1989)
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  • Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming
    After working all year down at Big Roy's Heating And Plumbing
    So one night when my family the I were gathered 'round the dinner table
    I said, "Kids, if you could go anywhere in this great big world, now
    Where'd you like to go ta"
    They said, "Dad, we want to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota"
    They picked the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

    So the very next day we loaded up the car
    With potato skins and pickled wieners,
    Crossword puzzles, Spider-Man comics, and mama's home made rhubarb pie
    Pulled out of the driveway and the neighbors, they all waved good-bye
    And so began our three day journey

    We picked up a guy holding a sign that said "twine ball or bust"
    He smelled real bad and he said his name was Bernie
    I put in a Slim Whitman tape, my wife put on a brand new hair net
    Kids were in the back seat jumping up and down,
    Yelling "Are we there yet?"
    And all of us were joined together in one common thought
    As we rolled down the long and winding interstate in our '53 DeSoto
    We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
    We're headin' for the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

    Oh, we couldn't wait to get there
    So we drove straight through for three whole days and nights
    Of course, we stopped for more pickled wieners now and then
    The scenery was just so pretty, boy I wish the kids could of seen it
    But you can't see out of the side of the car
    Because the windows are completely covered
    With the decals of all the place where we've already been

    There's Elvis-O-Rama, the Tupperware Museum,
    The Boll Weevil Monument, and Cranberry World,
    The Shuffleboard Hall Of Fame, Poodle Dog Rock,
    And The Mecca of Albino Squirrels
    We've been to ghost towns, theme parks, wax museums,
    And a place where you can drive through the middle of a tree
    We've seen alligator farms and tarantula ranches,
    But there's still one thing we gotta see

    Well, we crossed the state line about 6:39
    And we saw a sign that said "Twine Ball exit - 50 miles"
    Oh, the kids were so happy the started singing
    "99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the 27th time that day
    So, we pulled off the road at the last chance gas station
    Got a few more pickled wieners and a diet chocolate soda
    On our way to see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
    We're gonna see the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

    Finally, at 7:37 early Wednesday evening as the sun was setting
    In the Minnesota sky
    Out in the distance, on the horizon, it appeared to me like a vision
    Before my unbelieving eye
    I parked the car and walked with awe-filled reverence towards that
    Glorious huge majestic sphere
    I was just so overwhelmed by its sheer immensity,
    I had to pop myself a beer
    Yes, on these hallowed grounds, open ten to eight on weekdays,
    In a little shrine under a make-shift pagoda,
    There sits the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
    I tell you, it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

    Oh, what on earth would make a man decide to do that kind of thing?
    Oh, windin' up twenty-one thousand, one hundred forty pounds of string
    What was he trying to prove, who was he trying to impress
    Why did he build it, how did he do, it was anybody's guess
    Where did he get the twine, what was goin' through his mind
    Did it just seem like a good idea at the time

    Well, we walked up beside it and I warned the kids
    "Now, you better not touch it, those ropes are there for a reason"
    I said, "Maybe if you're good, I'll tie it to the back of our car
    And we can take it home", but I was only teasin'
    Then we went to the gift shop and stood in line
    Bought a souvenir miniature ball of twine, some window decals,
    And anything else they'd sell us
    And we bought a couple post cards, "Greetings from the twine ball,
    Wish you were here"
    Won't the folks back home be jealous

    I gave our camera to Bernie and we stood by the ball and we all gathered
    'round and said, "Cheese"
    The Bernie ran away with my brand new Insti-Matic,
    But at least we got our memories
    Then we all just stared at the ball for a while and my eyes got moist,
    But I said with a smile, "Kids, this here's what America's all about"
    Then I started feelin' kinda gooey inside and I fell on my knees
    And I cried and cried
    And that's when those security guards threw us out
    You know, I bet if we unraveled that sucker,
    It'd roll all the way down to Fargo, North Dakota
    'Cause it's the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
    I'm talkin' 'bout the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota

    Well, we stayed that night at the Twine Ball Inn
    In the morning we were on our way home again
    But we really didn't want to leave, that was perfectly clear
    I said, "Folks, I can tell you're all sad to go"
    Then I winked my eye and I said, "You know, I got a funny kind of feelin'
    We'll be comin' back again next year"
    'Cause I've been all around this great big world
    And I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather go to
    Than the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
    I said the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota
    Minnesota
    Minnesota
    Minnesota Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 9

  • Eric from Kansas CityI had first noticed, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald," not as familiar with "30,000 pounds of Bananas." Note Patti from Michigan's comment: the verse is pretty much "30,000 pounds of Bananas" but the chorus is right of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."
  • Patrick from Wahiawa, HiHmm, sounds a little like the movie, "Better Start Running." (A tour of roadside attractions while on the run from the FBI?) On second thought, find the New Zealand road movie, "Goodbye Pork Pie," instead.;)
  • Patti from MichiganJason is right. It's not a direct parody of "30,000 Pounds of Bananas." Al has said himself that this song sounds like a mixture of "30,000 Pounds Of Bananas" by Harry Chapin and "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot. Al calls songs that are done in the style of a particular artist or group style parodies.
  • Jason from Morganton, GaNo, it's not a direct parody. It sounds similar but it isn't the same. If it were a direct parody, then there wouldn't be several places, it would be the whole song.
  • Nathan from ., MnActually Lisa, we do sometimes for the hell of it because people assume we do, lol.
  • Lisa from Eveleth, MnYOU BETCHA. (we never say that)
  • Lisa from Eveleth, Mngosh, it makes me proud to be a minnesotan. : ) hee hee
  • Harold from Los Serranos, CaThis song actually is a direct Parody of 30,000 Pounds Of Bananas by Harry Chapin there are several places where both tune and lyric are metered directly from the Chapin song.
  • Reg from Kemptville, On, -I think I heard shades of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"!
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