Good, Bad, Ugly

Songfacts®:

  • This stark electronic track finds Lecrae meditating on two life changing events when he was growing up. In the first verse he recalls the abortion of a child he had with his college girlfriend in 2002 and the second one finds him remembering being molested by his female baby sitter when he was "barely in the first grade."
  • This is the most personal song that Lecrae has recorded to date. "If I didn't confront the issues on this song head on I would live a guilty, condemned, and shameful life," said the rapper. "All of that is contrary to what I believe about myself. We all have skeletons in our closets. We all have things in our past we will either bury or confront. No one expected me to experience, deal with, or tell the world about these experiences, but I'm healed. So, I wrote this song for the healing of others."
  • Lecrae recalled the abortion episode and his selfish attitude at the time during a discussion with theologian John Piper and John Ensor, the president of Passion Life Ministries. "I was a young man trying to figure out what I was going to do with life," he said. "I hadn't finished school. I had met the Lord, but I was still trying to get my footing in terms of walking with Jesus. There was so much that happened. Literally, in the middle of that relationship, I was feeling the conviction. I felt like God was giving me opportunities to escape. We were doing drugs and engaged in sexual activity consistently."

    "At the time, I believed an urban myth that if you consume enough drugs you would become sterile. I thought we would never get pregnant. I remember we were both working at a call center, and we went out for our smoke break one day, and she hesitated to smoke the cigarette. And that is when she informed me that she was pregnant."

    The abortion clinic was around the corner from the girl's house and Lecrae saw the termination as an easy escape from the responsibilities of fatherhood. "After the abortion, I really pretty much shut it out of my mind, literally to the point - it is shameful - I ignored all her calls," he confessed. "I quit dealing with her altogether."

    "The last time I saw her I remember she was curled up on a bed crying, and I pushed all of it out of my mind," Lecrae continued. "And what I kept were pictures of her, as a memorial in some senses." (Source of quote Desiring God)

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