Before I Die

Album: The Connection (2012)

Songfacts®:

  • The Connection was written during a tumultuous time in lead vocalist Jacoby Shaddix' life and this passionate electronic ballad finds him crushed and resolved to make changes. "I was going through a separation with my wife during the process of making the record," he explained to Loudwire, "fast forward to the present and we're working it out now, but in the process of making this record we were separated. I was at the end of my rope; I was in a lot of pain. This music is where I found my sanctuary, where I could express myself and just take myself out it for a second and not feel the pain and just be creative. During the process of making this song, 'Before I Die' I felt like everything was taken from me and I was just left out there raw and broken, it made everything clear to me, what really mattered to me."

    "It wasn't the material things that I have in my life," Shaddix continued, "which I'm not a materialistic person when it comes down to it, but you know at the end of the day it's the people that I love in my life that are the most important to me and sometimes when you treat the people that you love the most the worst, that's the wrong path. I had to take a long hard look at myself and realize how I was living my life and make those changes. Just being out there on my own and having those realizations, that's where the song came from."
  • Shaddix told Artist Direct that the song "came from the depths of despair." He explained: "I was in a place where I was the most desperate I've ever been in my life. I was not thinking straight. I was a suicidal for a minute. I was out of my head, and I didn't want to live anymore. These things in my life that I'm really grateful for kept flashing through my head. I thought, 'These are the things I want to live for before I die-my family, my kids, my wife, my spiritual life, the Papa Roach fans, and this music that's bigger than me.'

    "All of those things are what saved me," he added. "When I heard the music as Tobin (Esperance) was writing it, I was like, 'Oh my God, you're baking my noodle right now! I love this!'"

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