Don't Call Me Dude

Album: Here Comes Trouble (1990)
Play Video


  • This song is based on a classic vaudeville routine. In the most common versions, a man meets a stranger. The stranger recounts a story of how he found out his best friend has run off with his girl. He then describes, in great detail, how he catches up to them at Niagara Falls and strangles his best friend. In his tale-telling frenzy, he begins to actually strangle the innocent man. Once snapped out of his rage, the stranger apologizes profusely, but in a short amount of time, the man says "Niagara Falls," and the Stranger snaps into his frenzy again with the immortal line "NIAGARA FALLS! Slowly I turned... step-by-step... inch-by-inch...!" The pattern repeats itself as the Man goes to extreme lengths to prevent himself from saying the trigger words (or, at least, to prevent harm coming to him).
  • Abbott and Costello performed this bit in several different forms with trigger words "Niagara Falls," "Pokomoko" and, in one instance, both "Susquehanna Hat Company" and "Bagel Street." Lucille Ball performed it with a clown in an episode of I Love Lucy with the trigger word "Martha." The Three Stooges played it as "Niagara Falls" using their trademark slaps and pokes and included a final scene where the best friend arrives and claims that HE slowly turned and attacked the stranger, with the end result that both the stranger and the best friend pummel the innocent man. >>
    Suggestion credit:
    David - Mesa, AZ, for above 2


Be the first to comment...

Editor's Picks

Rush: Album by Album - A Conversation With Martin Popoff

Rush: Album by Album - A Conversation With Martin PopoffSong Writing

A talk with Martin Popoff about his latest book on Rush and how he assessed the thousands of albums he reviewed.

Benny Mardones

Benny MardonesSongwriter Interviews

His song "Into The Night" is one of the most-played of all time. For Benny, it took him to hell and back.

Donald Fagen

Donald FagenSongwriter Interviews

Fagen talks about how the Steely Dan songwriting strategy has changed over the years, and explains why you don't hear many covers of their songs.

Michael Franti

Michael FrantiSongwriter Interviews

Franti tells the story behind his hit "Say Hey (I Love You)" and explains why yoga is an integral part of his lifestyle and his Soulshine tour.

Mike Scott of The Waterboys - "Fisherman's Blues"

Mike Scott of The Waterboys - "Fisherman's Blues"They're Playing My Song

Armed with a childhood spent devouring books, Mike Scott's heart was stolen by the punk rock scene of 1977. Not surprisingly, he would go on to become the most literate of rockers.

Eric Burdon

Eric BurdonSongwriter Interviews

The renown rock singer talks about "The House of the Rising Sun" and "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood."