Don't Call Me Dude

Album: Here Comes Trouble (1990)


  • This song is based on a classic vaudeville routine. In the most common versions, a man meets a stranger. The stranger recounts a story of how he found out his best friend has run off with his girl. He then describes, in great detail, how he catches up to them at Niagara Falls and strangles his best friend. In his tale-telling frenzy, he begins to actually strangle the innocent man. Once snapped out of his rage, the stranger apologizes profusely, but in a short amount of time, the man says "Niagara Falls," and the Stranger snaps into his frenzy again with the immortal line "NIAGARA FALLS! Slowly I turned... step-by-step... inch-by-inch...!" The pattern repeats itself as the Man goes to extreme lengths to prevent himself from saying the trigger words (or, at least, to prevent harm coming to him).
  • Abbott and Costello performed this bit in several different forms with trigger words "Niagara Falls," "Pokomoko" and, in one instance, both "Susquehanna Hat Company" and "Bagel Street." Lucille Ball performed it with a clown in an episode of I Love Lucy with the trigger word "Martha." The Three Stooges played it as "Niagara Falls" using their trademark slaps and pokes and included a final scene where the best friend arrives and claims that HE slowly turned and attacked the stranger, with the end result that both the stranger and the best friend pummel the innocent man. >>
    Suggestion credit:
    David - Mesa, AZ, for above 2


Be the first to comment...

Editor's Picks

16 Songs With a Heartbeat

16 Songs With a HeartbeatSong Writing

We've heard of artists putting their hearts into their music, but some take it literally.

George Clinton

George ClintonSongwriter Interviews

When you free your mind, your ass may follow, but you have to make sure someone else doesn't program it while it's wide open.

Richie McDonald of Lonestar

Richie McDonald of LonestarSongwriter Interviews

Richie talks about the impact of "Amazed," and how his 4-year-old son inspired another Lonestar hit.

Michael Bolton

Michael BoltonSongwriter Interviews

Into the vaults for this talk with Bolton from the '80s when he was a focused on writing songs for other artists.

Chris Fehn of Slipknot

Chris Fehn of SlipknotSongwriter Interviews

A drummer for one of the most successful metal bands of the last decade, Chris talks about what it's like writing and performing with Slipknot. Metal-neck is a factor.


LecraeSongwriter Interviews

The Christian rapper talks about where his trip to Haiti and his history of addiction fit into his songs.