Lemonheads lead singer Evan Dando wrote this with his Australian collaborator Tom Morgan. The song is written from the perspective of a lovelorn gay man asking for understanding.

Dando met many colorful characters in his travels, and this was based on one of them. "That was from my friend who was renting this house from this rich steward who had all this gay art on the wall," he said in a Songfacts interview. "We called it 'the big gay house' and it just sort of went on from there."

This song is meant to discourage gay bashing. Dando, an avowed heterosexual who was named one of People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People" the year it was released, makes his point by showing how a heartache song can work from a gay perspective as well. "It was a combination of a comedy song and some political activism," he told Songfacts. "It was a bit wacky, that song, and it caused a lot of people to wonder. But it was just a really weird song, and we finished it, and decided to record it."

Dando and his buddy Kurt Cobain shared the view that gay bashing was absurd. Cobain made a statement of sorts when he put these lines into the Nirvana track "All Apologies":

What else could I say
Everyone is gay

On the album, the song was listed as "Big Gay Heart (Against Violence)," the subtitle making the intention clear.

A session musician named "Sneaky" Pete Kleinow played the pedal steel guitar on this track. He was a top hired gun on the instrument, appearing on tracks by George Harrison, Linda Ronstadt, Little Feat and many others.