Self Esteem

Album: Smash (1994)
Charted: 37


  • This song is about a guy who lets his girlfriend walk all over him. The reason: he has no self esteem.
  • Offspring lead singer Dexter Holland wrote this. It's a semi-true story based on his own experiences and that of his friends. "The thing where late at night she knocks on my door was real," he told, referring to the lyrics, "Late at night she knocks on my door, she's drunk again and looking to score."

    He added: "And practicing all the things you would say was a funny thing that had happened before."
  • According to The Offspring's Greatest Hits DVD, the famous intro on the song where the members sing along to the tune of the main riff, was first going to be played on acoustic guitar before the electric guitars come in. >>
    Suggestion credit:
    Bertrand - Paris, France, for all above
  • Not everyone in the band dug the song at first. Guitarist Kevin "Noodles" Wasserman told Rolling Stone: "When we were first writing 'Self Esteem' I didn't get it all. The song structure just seemed weird to me. We were used to playing everything really fast – as fast as we could. And here was a song that was a little slower."
  • This was used in the 2015 comedy Daddy's Home, starring Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell.

Comments: 22

  • Jeb from Area 51NOICE!!!!
  • Sei from MinnesotaIn an interview with, apparently Holland said he based the lyrics off the experiences of a female friend.
    "When I talk to people, it's interesting how they think that anything a guy writes is autobiographical."
  • Chris from Germany the song is awesome and strangely was a big hit in Germany. from 1985-1997 there was not one another song which sounds like this on german top 40 charts.

    The song reached the top 10 and was there many weeks. was the biggest summer hit and a favorite on village partys and on children’s birthday parties.
  • Marc from Toronto I know this woman he sings about really well "lil bit" I won't say much other than been there done that played the game and survived to be able to post here. She is special but dangerous.!!! Beautiful yet toxic ! Poisonous yet charming !! So offspring if you want a song chorus try this 1 is poison and I'm infected .....thank gawd I got out !!!
  • Chris from Germany This song is awesome and it was a huge hit in Germany. It reached the Top 5 and was one of the 20 best sold singles of 1995. It sold 500,000 copies in Germany.
    No song in 1995 in the German charts sounds like this. Suddenly they were on Youth and children magazines and I still have the poster of Dexter Holland from one magazine.
  • Tj from Johannesburg South AfricaThis song hits like a ton of bricks. This guy is trapped in this relationship. When he is not with this girl he tells himself he is going to break it off and tell her how she should go f*ck herself but when he is with her she dominates him emotionally and he knows with everything inside him he needs to get out but the problem is "he got not no self esteem" it eats him up inside and he convinces himself that he actually likes this abuse she is putting himself through. She gives him just enough to stay hooked she tells him she only wants him, this contradicts with the fact that she is f*cking his friends. But doesn't do anything and deals with the facts with a dumb look on his face but the problem is "he got no self esteem" he thinks he can change her by making plans but the b!tch stands him up. He goes into a deeper state of self loathing and convinces himself that if she keeps doing that sh!t he will give her a piece of his mind (maybe) however he knows he will never. Then she rocks up at his place wanting to use him for sex, he knows he should say no, as this would be him taking his stand against this woman. But its hard cause he wants it and she does too, he is hooked.

    Don't find yourself in this situation. Don't make someone your priority if you're their 2nd choice.
  • Jaspurr from Sydney, AustraliaThe song was inspired by Kurt Cobain's quote, "All drugs are a waste of time, they destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem." At the time, gossip rags were filled with stories of Curt Kobain's torrid relationship with that junkie he married; it's likely the characters in the song are inspired by these two. The big give-away hint is the song's intro; it's a vocal tribute to Nirvana's "Smell's Like Teen Spirit".
  • Jason from Bonn Tempes, La@le devil: You sure are not gonna win any friends acting that way bitch. But the song is about a girl that just likes to fck with the guy's mind and his dick.
    Plain and simple. I can sort of relate.
  • Johnanthony from Millville, Pa(SEE BELOW)

    '...MmmmHmmm Buckwheat...' was meant for Jessiah's statement at the Bottom. The one that was about this 'Legendary Musical Experience' being a classic. ~ Song 8 on the Album 'Self Esteem'.

  • Johnanthony from Millville, Pa...MmmmHmmm Buckwheat...
  • Le Devil from Los Angeles, CaThis song is about Holland stealing someones someones girlfriend. If you didn't know that your an idiot.
  • James from Cambridge, OnI'll never forget dating this "junkie" of an ex girlfriend. s--t happened.. I did NOTHING WRONG but try to help her, and in her and in return the cops come to my door.
  • Lily from Los Angeles, Cai don't think she's exactly his girlfriend.
  • Sara from Union City, Tn"The more you suffer the more it shows you really care." Our love song Sara+ Will, damn we love the hell out of each other then.
  • Michael from Houston, TxClearly the song is about a guy who has low self esteem, and some chick that he actually likes is just using him for sex. He contemplates breaking up with her, but then again, "Its kinda hard when she's 'ready to go'". He tries to schedule dates and such, but she isn't dedicated to him and blows him off, but when she comes back later to use him for sex, he's hurt, but allows it.
  • Landon from Winchester, OhI disagree it's about a guy being abused in a relationship, like the song "Walkin' Through the Park" by Muddy Waters, but moreless a guy suffering from a relationship with a possessive girl.
  • Ryan from St. Albert, Abthis song says not just guys can be abusive in relationships girls can too
  • Chris from Grand Blanc, MiAwesome song, I give it a 5/5 just like most other Offspring songs (Listen to it on the Sound Flaver Jukebox>>>)!
  • Holly from Appleton, Withe song is about a guy who is obviously sick of his girlfriend and tries to break up with her but she dont want him to go.=(
  • Billy from Calgary, CanadaTo all guys out there : Please don't be like the guy Holland is singing about.
  • Michael from San Diego, Ca"Now I know, that I should say no, bu6t that's kinda hard when she's ready to go!" - that's for sure!
  • Jessiah from Kingston, OhThis song is clearly a classic
see more comments

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