by Dave

Album: Psychodrama (2019)
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  • Look
    They say the universe, it works in a strange way
    And it must be true because, we ain't from the same background or same place
    But me and Lesley ended up on that same train
    I'm talking everyday, I used to wake up around seven or eight
    To catch the 906 from Norbury Station
    Two different worlds in the same location and
    One day we ended up speaking
    And I would talk about college, she would talk about meetings
    And how she's planning on leaving
    How she hates what she does but she needs it
    I asked her what she was doing, it's the weekend
    And she said, she said

    I don't know myself
    I don't know myself no more

    She used to be the life of the party for true
    And now she going out hardly ever
    Her man got her in the yard forever
    And her friends wanna help but it's hard to tell her
    Hard to let her know that her man's possessive and aggressive
    And she can't even see it, but for them it's clear as day, she's in a situation
    Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative
    So, she could see it from a mile off
    Turtleneck jumpers, makeup around the eye spots
    All the signs were there
    But Lesley made it seem a light affair
    Said it wasn't right to share
    Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man
    I didn't know much about him, but he's been in the can
    Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasoning
    To be honest, I don't know what Les' sees in him
    'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart
    But they've both got demons and a deep past
    You know opposites attract, apparently
    I never heard her talk about her family ever, uh-uh
    He was all that she had
    Until they had an argument and he stopped calling her back
    And I don't know if there was more to the story than that
    'Cause she plays things down but according to that
    He went missing one day in the morning he ran
    She's doing overtime, struggling affording the flat
    'Til she, lost her job it fucked all of her plans
    Couldn't pay the rent, borrowing and calling for cash
    But Hannah she was there for her, cared for her
    When I saw Les' she told me

    I don't know myself
    I don't know myself no more

    Les' saying, "I got nothing to live for
    It's been raw, but David, I ain't never been this poor
    There's no income, my boyfriend left me
    So how the fuck am I going to survive when this kid's born?"
    I said, "It's a blessing as mad as it is
    And Les', I never even knew you were having a kid"
    Bro, she's four months pregnant, young and neglected
    Single but I don't think she wants to accept it
    So she's still texting ex's trying to get this
    Back on track but I don't think that she gets it
    It's emotional obsession, clinical depression
    Life is a lesson
    And you ain't got to sit and cry
    And Lesley, living in this gift called life
    There's no better gift than the gift of life
    So, can you handle it?

    I don't know myself
    I don't know myself no more

    But that changed her perspective
    Late in December, her baby's expected to drop
    She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped
    Only got to wait a few months
    Her and Hannah had lunch
    Told her she's pregnant
    And they're the closest of bredrins
    So she didn't stunt to tell her, I think that it's an error
    You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever
    Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever
    If I'm honest that's something you should have done together
    She doesn't know that her and Jason are going out again
    And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carrying a child for them
    She had daydreams of settling down with Jason, better 'cause now they're together it's wild
    Feeling like she needs to call her friends and tell 'em
    'Cause while she's letting him down but most of them are never around
    She calls Hannah the next day
    Still tryna figure out the best way to tell her that she's getting back together with an ex-flame
    So she left her a voicemail
    Like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
    I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
    I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
    I used to be so fucking confident
    But these days, I swear that-"

    I don't know my self
    I don't know myself no more

    It's 3:30 Lesley was meant to get a scan
    But today I think she's going home early
    Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid
    Addressing any reservations
    Have that conversation
    Middle of the summer and it's raining
    Waiting at the train station
    Hella cancellations
    So she gets a taxi, sitting in a backseat
    Blue jean jacket and a maxi
    Actually, tired and her legs are aching
    Touched the destination
    Way faster than the cab driver's estimation
    She put the key in the door
    She, couldn't believe what she see on the floor
    Some size five trainers, raging
    Tears in her eyes, but it's cool 'cause they must be the neighbors
    And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked
    Lesley running up the stairs but she's making noise
    And she can hear Jason's voice
    Saying "Hide in the closet"
    But he's made his choice
    So, she bursts in saying "What kind of person would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend?"
    Jason, saying "What the fuck, you're pregnant? What the fuck?
    You weren't even gonna tell me, I mean what the fuck?
    What do you want from us?
    Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love"
    Lesley telling Jason, "I don't wanna love
    I don't want a you and I, I don't want an us
    And also, I don't wanna talk loads
    One more line before I dash like Morse code"
    Open the wardrobe
    And Jason's on the edge
    "I just wanna see if she was prettier than me, slimmer than me
    Maybe your baby's similar to me
    Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me, fitter than me
    To satisfy you quicker than me
    I got your baby in my stomach and you did this to me
    What did I ever do to you for you to finish with me?
    I didn't believe my girls but they were thinking of me
    And give it to me, the wardrobe, give me the key"
    I was pulling up the door but Jason's bigger than me
    Literally, I remember viscerally
    Jason pulling from behind me now he's gripping on me
    White flashes, eye gashes, when he's hitting me, see
    I just wanted to disappear I wasn't living for me
    Physically I shut the fucking doors quick as can be
    He's outside asking why I made him do what he did
    Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in
    I'm feeling afraid, barricaded, with a chair in the handle
    I'm hearing sirens but I just wanna run away but I can't
    Jason's gone by the time police are comin'
    They saw that ain't no one else in the house
    And feds are running through the door shouting
    "We have reports of an argument with a woman"
    There's blood all over the floor and it's splattered onto the wall
    Lesley's on the bed and she's tryna speak to the feds
    She's deep in the stress and his meter's above her head
    If anything, she couldn't even say anything
    But she's got this really sharp pain where her belly is
    So, they call an ambulance, Lesley didn't plan for this
    Police are in the room tryna find the missing piece of the puzzle
    Until they stumble on something that's kind of random
    It's a phone in the wardrobe
    They had five missed phone calls from Jason and also a couple other numbers
    So they thinking that it's no help
    Until they play the voicemail like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back?
    I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that
    I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back
    I used to be so fucking confident
    But these days, I swear that-"

    I don't know my self
    I don't know myself no more

    She felt sick to her stomach, she started panicking
    Mind rattling, tryna understand what Hannah did
    Battling the shame 'cause the situation embarrassing
    She's tryna fathom it betrayed by her own garrison
    Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this
    Piercing pain in the stomach, she couldn't handle it
    Now she's waiting for an ambulance
    And I know she's strong, but when I heard about what happened I was over-shocked
    Her nose was gone, her jaw line shattered and rocked
    They said her baby was the reason she was holding on
    She dozing off, doctors getting no response
    Her heart rate slowing down and they don't know what's wrong
    Picked her up, got her out the home and onto the stretcher for good measure
    But she fading out, oh
    She took damage to the brain and now she's in a coma as we speak
    But I ain't sure if she can make it out
    You see this time that I'm taking out to tell you the story is more than a song or track
    It's a message to a woman with a toxic man
    I'm begging you to get support if you're lost or trapped
    I understand that I can never understand
    And I ain't saying that it's easy but it must be right
    Some of your sisters, aunties, mums or wives
    Are fucked aside and they will never touch on why
    I'm touched 'cause I've seen women that I love though like-
    Cry little red tears through a bloodshot eye
    This shit's awful, no matter what culture it ain't normal
    Men try and twist it, make it seem like it's your fault
    In that train full of people that you're taking
    How many Lesley's are running from their Jasons?

    Angel without wings
    Like the day without the night to bring her peace
    A song without a voice
    A spark without a flame
    A child without a name
    Oh, it's just wrong

    Like an ocean without a shore
    A soldier without a war
    How can we do this anymore?
    A song without a voice
    A spark without a flame
    A child without a name
    Oh, it's just wrong

    Well, we've made a massive amount of progress in this last year, haven't we?
    Feels like a long journey
    And I must say it's been a pleasure, to watch you mature and grow in thought
    And in your career and life
    You've opened up immensely
    I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss these sessions
    But you know, you can never stop learning about yourself
    So you're always welcome
    I'm just happy you're at a place now where you feel you understand your emotions
    And are in control Writer/s: David Orobosa Omoregie, Fraser Lance Thorneycroft Smith, James John Napier, Maggie Eckford
    Publisher: CONCORD MUSIC PUBLISHING LLC, Downtown Music Publishing, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Warner Chappell Music, Inc.
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 3

  • Lance Ogilvie from EdinburghThis is one of the best ‘story’ songs I’ve ever heard, right up there with the likes of STAN by Eminem, tbh o Dnt see how this is any less of a masterpiece, possibly better given its basis is true, or extrapolated from truth, Dave is my favourite rapper atm and with tracks like this who can argue he is one hell of a talent bordering on genius.
  • Ash-shaun from Stockwell, LondonRespect. F$%k those jasons
  • Santam from LondonYou got it right. Mad respect
see more comments

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