The Walrus and the Carpenter

Album: HMS Donovan (1970)
  • (spoken)
    Presenta the grand circo!
    The prima del mondo!
    La grand successo!
    Giulia Nova Vittorio!

    Here Alice ventured to interrupt -
    "It's very long" she said as politely as she could -
    "Will you tell me first which road?"
    Tweedledum smiled gently and began again.

    The sun was shining on the sea,
    Shining with all his might;
    He did his very best to make
    The billows smoothe and bright -
    And this was odd, because it was
    The middle of the night.

    The moon was shining sulkily
    Because she thought the sun
    Had got no business to be there
    After the day was done.
    "It's very rude of him," she said,
    "To come and spoil all the fun."

    The sea was wet as wet could be,
    The sands were dry as dry.
    You could not see a cloud
    Because no cloud was in the sky.
    No birds were flying overhead
    There were no birds to fly.

    The Walrus and the Carpenter
    Were walking close at hand.
    They wept like anything to see
    Such quantities of sand.
    "If this were only cleared away,"
    They said, "it would be grand."

    "If seven maids with seven mops
    Swept it for half a year,
    Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
    "That they could get it clear?"
    "I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
    And shed a bitter tear.

    "O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
    The Walrus did beseech.
    "A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
    Along the briny beach.
    We cannot do with more than four,
    To give a hand to each."

    The eldest Oyster looked at him,
    But never a word he said.
    The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
    And shook his heavy head -
    Meaning to say he did not choose
    To leave the oyster bed.

    But four young Oysters hurried up,
    All eager for their treat,
    Their coats were brushed,
    Their faces washed,
    Their shoes were clean and neat,
    And this was odd,
    Because you know they hadn't any feet.

    Four other Oysters followed them
    And yet another four,
    And thick and fast they came at last,
    And more, and more, and more,
    All hopping through the frothy waves
    And scrambling to the shore.

    The Walrus and the Carpenter
    Walked on a mile or so,
    And then they rested on a rock
    Conveniently low,
    And all the little Oysters stood
    And waited in a row.

    "The time has come," the Walrus said,
    "To talk of many things;
    Of shoes - and ships - and sealing wax -
    Of cabbages - and kings -
    And why the sea is boiling hot -
    And whether pigs have wings."

    "But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
    "Before we have our chat,
    For some of us are out of breath,
    And all of us are fat!"
    "No hurry," said the Carpenter,
    They thanked him much for that.

    "A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
    "Is what we chiefly need,
    Pepper and vinegar besides,
    Are very good indeed,
    Now, if you're ready oysters dear,
    We can begin to feed."

    "Not on us!" the Oysters cried
    Turning a little blue,
    "After such kindness that would be
    A dismal thing to do."

    "The night is fine," the Walrus said,
    "Do you admire the view?"

    "It was so kind of you to come!
    And you are very nice."
    The Carpenter said nothing but,
    "Cut us another slice.
    I wish you were not quite so deaf -
    I've had to ask you twice."

    "It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
    "To play them such a trick,
    After we've brought them out so far,
    And made them trot so quick."
    The Carpenter said nothing but,
    "The butter's spread to thick."

    "I weep for you," the Walrus said,
    "I deeply sympathize."

    With sobs and tears he sorted out
    Those of the largest size,
    Holding his pocket handkerchief
    Before his streaming eyes.

    "Oh oysters" said the Carpenter,
    "You've had a pleasant run -
    Trotting home again?"
    But answer came there none.
    And this was scarcely odd
    Because they'd eaten every one.
    They'd eaten every one.


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