The Real Slim Shady

Album: Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
Charted: 1 4
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  • May I have your attention, please?
    May I have your attention, please?
    Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
    I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
    We're gonna have a problem here

    Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
    Jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
    And started whoopin' her ass worse than before
    They first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!)
    It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding
    He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
    And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots!
    Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (ha ha!)
    Feminist women love Eminem
    "Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
    Look at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-what
    Flippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."
    Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
    But no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedrooms
    Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
    But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
    "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
    And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
    And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
    And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
    Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is
    By the time they hit fourth grade
    They've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
    We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibals
    Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
    But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
    Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
    But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
    Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes

    I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?
    'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?

    Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records
    Well, I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
    You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
    Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
    "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
    Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?
    So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
    Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
    So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
    And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
    Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
    "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee."
    I should download her audio on MP3
    And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD
    I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
    All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy you
    And there's a million of us just like me
    Who cuss like me, who just don't give a fuck like me
    Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
    And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

    'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?
    'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?

    I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you
    Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room
    The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all
    And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
    I just get on the mic and spit it
    And whether you like to admit it, I just shit it
    Better than 90% of you rappers out can
    Then you wonder: "How can
    Kids eat up these albums like Valiums?"
    It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30
    I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
    Pinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
    And I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
    And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
    He could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings
    Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a fuck!"
    With his windows down and his system up
    So will the real Shady please stand up
    And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
    And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
    And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

    I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?
    'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?
    'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?
    'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
    All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up
    Please stand up, please stand up?

    Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
    Fuck it, let's all stand up!Writer/s: Marshall Mathers, Andre Young, Michael Elizondo, Thomas Coster
    Publisher: Warner Chappell Music, Inc., BMG Rights Management
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind
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Comments: 25

  • Erin from CaliThe whole concept was promotion for others and, playful slams. I enjoyed the whole thing. Years ago and today.
  • Katie from Soddy Daisy, TnI love this song!! The chorus is the best part!
  • Maxiell from Pompano Beach, FlYa'lL act like you never seen a white person before? lol...This is my favorite part of the song. People please, why criticize? this is simple art. Only Eminem can be funny, cocky, mean, rude, and ignorant because he simply can! he has so much power and isn't afraid to tell people how he feels inside. Thats what makes a true artist. An artist isn't Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson who can't sing and express themselves freely. Eminem is an amazing preformer. He has done things that most people wish they have. He doesn't let anyone stop him, and he is insane and is very happy that way! lol
  • Sean from Denver, CoThere are tons of spoofs for this song Bob Rivers Slim Santa (Thats right, 'Weird Al' Did NOT MAKE THAT ONE) nor did Al make "Will the Real Slim Shady Please shut Up" heres how I know 1. They are too vulgar to be 'Weird Al' Yankovic the only cuss word Al has said in ANY of his songs is in "Couch Potato" to were he said "Oh Dogs that cr*p and pee" 2. 'Weird Al' Yankovic Usualy SINGS HIS OWN SONGS!!! the only exception is when he has his wife along with him. Aside from that note: this is his best hit since "My Name Is" You got that part right indefinetly.
  • Logan from Lawrenceburg, KyThis is is a good song. It reminds me of the old saying "Its always darkest just before the dawn" in the sense that he gets to the point where he wants to kill himself but realizes that its just a dream and that life is very ironic because wen u r feelin good sumtin bad happens. but wen ur feeling bad sumtin good happens. Its all just a way god evens out the world i guess.
  • Z from Somewhere Over The Rainbow, WaEminem doesn't give a damn whether or not he's offending people. That's just how he is, and I can't help but respect someone like that. His songs are much more interesting than other Rap songs, because he talks about real life, and real life sucks. Once again, Eminem is a bit psycho, but that's perfectly okay. We all are a little psycho deep down inside.

  • Jailene from K-town, WaDude, I love this song and wish I had a way and the guts to say half the stuff he does. Even if it *was* for publicity and only publicity, I wouldn't have said half the stuff he did. And I gotta say even I agree with a lot of it. Score one for the people, 0 points for society! w00t w00t
  • Ekristheh from Halath, United States"But Slim, if you win, wouldn't that be weird?"
  • Dave from Cardiff, WalesRe: Andrew ".....its soposed to be offensive...ITS RAP" Outkast are considered rappers, but there's very little offensive about their music, but they are still very popular
  • Jon from Oakridge, OrLike I've said on other posts, not a real fan of rap but some (like this song) actually say something and in turn are pretty good.
  • Andrew from Ny, Ndi think all the ppl that says that the song is offensive r retarted.....its soposed to be offensive...ITS RAP...and how wouold u feel if ur husband/wife left and took ur kid with her....lik it no wonder its offensive from the ppl that listen to his songs he has a messed up life and these songs r exspressing his feelings towrds his life and all the messed up things that happend..although his life is kinda messed up i wouold diie to be lik him.
  • Sarah Floyd from Bloomingdale, Ili like this song because he is the real slim shady. the real slim shady please stand up please stand up. anyway it doesnt matter! i like this song!
  • Jeevan from Brampton, CanadaEminem is the only rap I listen to. He is the best rapper! He doesn't sing about money or girls like other rappers do. He sings about real life situations.
  • Nikki from Brampton, Canadai love eminem! he's the best rapper ever. he doesnt sing about girls, money, bling, and clubs. he sings about real life stuff. and yeah sometimes he sings about funny things like in just lose it and even this song kinda. i just think there is not other better rapper than eminem.
  • Valerie from Evansville, InI wish the real slim shady would please shut up. This song is so offensive.
  • Sarah from Cambridge, Englandi love this song and its artist coz hes fit and this song is soooooooo catchy i listen to about 10secs of it and i have it in my head for the restof the day. I LOVE EMINEM HES GORGE!!!
  • Joe from Liverpool, Englandthis song annoys me soooo much!! even if you cut out all the offencive language in the song it is still really offencive...thats why i never liked eminem to begin with. he always takes the micky out of somebody whether its michael jackson, parents, fat people, old people, people who work at fast food resturants....i'd also like to point out that on the video for blue and yellow purple pils/hills or whateva, the wrestler known as chris jericho is seen in it at the bar...i think dressed as a woman(btw, the cactus guy is stupid! :P)
  • Amanda from Brighton, CoEminem is now a very big icon in rap. When this was realeased it was considered to make Eminem the rapper he is today. Eminem rules.
  • Joshua from Niagara Falls, CanadaThis song is annoying. All he keeps saying is "please stand up, please stand up" its sooooooooooooo annoying.
  • Casie from Denver, CoThe song is catchy,its cool and Eminem is a great father. I mean a tattoo on his arm of his daughter,he is so sweet. I think his wife was right about about Marshal not being a singer but at the same time he has great talent,the only thing is that if he is a great dad why does he say so much about ofending other ppl,its not really a good example and also him ofending alot to his own ex wife but you know whatever,I hope everything comes out good.
  • Sarah from Cambridge, Englandthis song and video are brill they ma represent a nightmare bt to me they represent a dream and i mean it i would love to be more like em and would love to see him
  • Alex from New Orleans, LaThis also could be about everyone going after Eminem to be censored yetmillions of others do the same thing and are liked.
  • Helen from York, EnglandMy boyfriend loves this song and likens it to Plato's 'Apology' (a speech given by Socrates refusing to apologise for corrupting the youth). I took a look at the Apology and can see a scarily large number of parallels. Who'd've thought it?
  • Dave from Cardiff, WalesSomeone told me that this song features a sample of a song by Stevie Wonder. If anyone can confirm this, please let me know.
  • Sarahk from Baldwinsville, Ny"Performed at the 2000 MTV Video Music awards, with Eminem coming in from the street followed by the Slim Shady lookalikes from his video."
    these kids weren't from his video, they were guys from the crowd that the producers pulled out, dyed their hair, and fitted them for clothes THAT NIGHT
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