The Winker's Song (Misprint)

Album: Beggars Banquet: The Punk Singles Collection (1978)
Charted: 22
  • My mother said
    That I never should
    Play with the naughty rude girls in the wood

    Their giggling talk
    I could never understand
    And that's why I fell in love with my right hand

    And that's why

    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker
    I'm a wanker
    And I'm always pulling my pud

    I was twenty five years old before I was kissed
    And then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist
    It's cheap and convenient
    You can't catch VD
    It's available at any time
    And it's absolutely free

    And that's why

    Oh Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me and being oh so kind
    I've got pains in my arms
    And my dong is growing shorter
    My knees have turned to water
    And I think I'm going blind

    I've wanked over Italy
    I've wanked over Spain
    I've wanked in an omnibus
    I've even had a wank in a train

    I've used a badger and a melon and a cat
    An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crocket hat

    And that's why

    Listen!

    Oh Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me and being oh so kind
    I've got pains in my arms
    And my dong is getting shorter
    My knees have turned to water
    And I think I'm going blind

    I'm a wanker!
    I'm a wanker!
    It does me good!
    I'm a wanker!
    I'm always pulling me pud!
    I'm a wanker!
    I'm a wanker!

Comments: 1

  • Zabadak from London, EnglandBiggun also made poetic TV appearances on That's Life as "Doc Cox".
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