The Winker's Song (Misprint)

Album: Beggars Banquet: The Punk Singles Collection (1978)
Charted: 22
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  • My mother said that I never should
    Play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood
    Their giggling talk I could never understand
    And that's why I fell in love with my right hand

    And that's why...
    I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
    And it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
    And I'm always pulling my pud'

    I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed
    And then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist
    It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD
    It's available at any time and it's absolutely free

    And that's why...
    'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
    And it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
    And I'm always pulling my pud'

    Oh Mrs. Palm and your five lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me and being oh so kind
    I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter
    My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind

    I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain
    I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train
    I've used a badger and a melon and a cat
    An inflatable Linda Lovelace and a Davy Crockett hat

    And that's why...
    I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
    And it does me good like it bloody well should
    I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
    And I'm always pulling my pud'

    Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters
    Thank you for having me and being oh so kind
    I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter
    My knees have turned to water and I think I'm going blind

    He's a wanker, he's a wanker
    And it does him good like it bloody well should
    He's a wanker, he's a wanker
    And he's always pulling his pud' Writer/s: IVOR BIGGUN
    Publisher: Universal Music Publishing Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 1

  • Zabadak from London, EnglandBiggun also made poetic TV appearances on That's Life as "Doc Cox".
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