Jobsworth

Album: Jobsworth (1973)
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  • Now, I was just an ordinary English man
    Till I got me uniform and hat
    And ever since that hour
    I exercise me power
    Preventing you from doing this and that

    You'll find me on the turnstiles at the zoo
    Or outside the Roxy Marshall in the queue
    And if you turn up late when I'm on the gate
    It's no good asking me to let you through

    'Cause I'll just say
    Jobsworth
    Jobsworth
    It's more than my job's worth
    I don't care, rain or snow
    Whatever you want, the answer's no
    I can keep you standing
    For hours in the queue
    And if you don't like it
    You know what you can do

    When you're trying to see what the butler saw
    I'm the one who says, come on, move on
    And if you want to stay
    You'll have to bleeding pay
    And even then you can't stay long

    You may be almost dropping dead from thirst
    Or waiting for the toilet fit to burst
    But I've got the key
    And you won't get that from me
    Until I've had me little grumble first

    Yes
    Jobsworth
    Jobsworth
    It's more than my job's worth
    I don't care, rain or snow
    Whatever you want, the answer's no
    (Whatever you want, the answer's no)
    I can keep you standing
    For hours in the queue
    And if you don't like it
    You know what you can do

    Fishing in the river
    On a summers day
    I suppose you think that water's all for free
    I've got news for you
    Everybody pays his due
    And right now it will cost you 50p, plus VAT
    And don't think you can picnic on the grass
    Public amenity, my arse
    And if you want fresh air
    You'll find some over there
    But I don't feel inclined to let you pass (Without a backhander)

    Jobsworth
    Jobsworth
    It's more than me jobs worth
    I don't care rain or snow
    Whatever you want, the answer's no
    I can keep you standing
    For hours in the queue
    And if you don't like it
    You know what you can do

    (Yes, yes, well I died in the last war for people like you)
    (Bleeding long-haired lot)
    (Good spell in the army do you good)

    Morning skipper, what can we do for you?
    Don't call me skipper
    Alright chief, don't shout
    Whatever you require
    We're very sorry, squire
    But it's ten to one we've just sold out

    'Course you could try that shop around the block
    But I doubt if he's got any left in stock
    And if you think we'll get them through
    Inside a month or two
    I'm afraid you're in for a nasty shock
    (Cock)

    Jobsworth
    Jobsworth
    It's more than me job's worth
    I don't care rain or snow
    Whatever you want, the answer's no
    I can keep you standing
    For hours in the queue
    And if you don't like it
    You know what you can do

    When you get back home you will heave a sigh
    And thank the Lord that you got rid of me
    But it won't be very long till your telephone goes wrong
    And you need someone to fix your tv

    And add to that your lights have all gone out
    And your central heating boiler's up the spout
    And when you're tearing your hair
    And the wife's going spare
    You'll hear us on the distance calling out

    (Two, three, four)

    Jobsworth
    Jobsworth
    It's more than me job's worth
    I don't care rain or snow
    Whatever you want, the answer's no
    I can keep you standing
    For years in the queue
    And if you don't like it
    You know what you can do
    (You can lump it)
    You know what you can do Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

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