She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)

Album: The Man With the Golden Thumb (1982)
Charted: 57
Play Video
  • Well, I guess it was back in '63
    When eatin' my cookin' got the better of me,
    So I asked this little girl I was goin' with to be my wife.
    Well, she said she would, so I said "I do".
    But I'da said I wouldn't if I'da just knew
    How sayin' "I do" was gonna screw up all of my life!

    Well, the first few years weren't all that bad
    I'll never forget the good times we had
    Cause I'm reminded every month when I send her the child support.
    Well, it wasn't too long till the lust all died,
    And I'll admit I wasn't too surprised
    The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin' out on the porch.

    Well, I tried to get in, she changed the locks!
    Then I found this note taped on the mailbox
    That said, "Goodbye, turkey! My attorney will be in touch!" Mm-hmmâ?¦
    So I decided right then and there
    I's gonna do what's right, give her her fair share.
    But brother, I didn't know her share's gon' be that much!

    She got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
    I got the shaft. I got the shaft.
    They split it right down the middle,
    And then they give her the better half.
    Well, it all sounds sorta funny,
    But it hurts too much to laugh.
    She got the gold mine, I got the sha-a-aft.

    Now, listen, you ain't heard nothin' yet:
    Why, they give her the color television set,
    Then they give her the house, the kids, and both of the cars! See?
    Well, then they start talkin' 'bout child support,
    Alimony, and the cost of the court
    Didn't take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was!

    I'm tellin' ya, they have made a mistake
    Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes!
    Besides; everything I ever had worth takin', they've already took!
    While she's livin' like a queen on alimony,
    I'm workin' two shifts eatin' baloney,
    Askin' myself, "Why didn't you just learn how to cook?!?!"

    They give her the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
    They give me the shaft. I got the shaft.
    They said they're splittin' it all down the middle,
    But she got the better half.
    Well, it all sounds mighty funny,
    But it hurts too much to laugh.
    She got the gold mine, I got the sha-a-aft.

    Well, she got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
    I got the shaft. I got the shaft.
    They split it all down the middle,
    And then they give her the better half.
    Well, I guess it all sounds funny, Hoo, hoo, hoo, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
    But it hurts too much to laugh.
    She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft.
    (They ain't kiddin' me â?? I got the shaft.)

    Well, I don't have to worry â??bout totin' a billfold n'more.
    Hahahahahaâ?¦
    I let my wife tote it; I'mon' be carryin' food stampsâ??
    You get it, judge? I'mon' beâ?¦ Justâ?¦ Hahahahaâ?¦
    Ah, it's not funny, huh? Huh? Huh?
    Contempt of court? Whaddaya mean?
    Listen, judge: I's just kiddin'! Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments

Be the first to comment...

Editor's Picks

Goodbye, Hello: Ten Farewell Tour Fake-Outs

Goodbye, Hello: Ten Farewell Tour Fake-OutsSong Writing

The 10 biggest "retirement tours" that didn't take.

Maria Muldaur

Maria MuldaurSongwriter Interviews

The "Midnight At The Oasis" singer is an Old Time gal. She talks about her jug band beginnings and shares a Dylan story.

Rufus Wainwright

Rufus WainwrightSongwriter Interviews

Rufus Wainwright on "Hallelujah," his album Unfollow The Rules, and getting into his "lyric trance" on 12-hour walks.

Real or Spinal Tap

Real or Spinal TapMusic Quiz

They sang about pink torpedoes and rocking you tonight tonight, but some real lyrics are just as ridiculous. See if you can tell which lyrics are real and which are Spinal Tap in this lyrics quiz.

Women Who Rock

Women Who RockSong Writing

Evelyn McDonnell, editor of the book Women Who Rock, on why the Supremes are just as important as Bob Dylan.

Neal Smith - "I'm Eighteen"

Neal Smith - "I'm Eighteen"They're Playing My Song

With the band in danger of being dropped from their label, Alice Cooper drummer Neal Smith co-wrote the song that started their trek from horror show curiosity to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.