The Man Who Couldn't Cry

Album: Attempted Mustache (1973)
  • There once was a man who just couldn't cry
    He hadn't cried for years and for years
    Napalmed babies and the movie love story
    For instance could not produce tears
    As a child he had cried as all children will
    Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
    He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan
    Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

    His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
    And after that he got sacked from his job
    Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
    Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob

    His novel was refused, his movie was panned
    And his big Broadway show was a flop

    He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
    Oh, but still not a dribble or drop

    In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
    And made to make license plates
    Water and bread was all he was fed
    But not once did a tear stain his face

    Doctors were called in, scientists, too
    Theologians were last and practically least

    They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
    But in fact an insensitive beast

    He was removed from jail and placed in a place
    For the insensitive and the insane
    He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
    And he wept every time it would rain

    Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
    And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried

    On the forty-first day, he passed away
    He just dehydrated and died

    Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
    Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
    Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
    Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

    His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
    The theologians were finally found out

    Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
    The earth suffered perpetual drought Writer/s: LOUDON WAINWRIGHT
    Publisher: Downtown Music Publishing, Spirit Music Group
    Lyrics licensed and provided by LyricFind

Comments: 1

  • Jon from BrightonAnother cover of this great song by Hiawatha Telephone Company (The Family Grave) https://soundcloud.com/southcoasting/the-man-who-couldnt-cry-loudon-wainwright-iii
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