Everything I Wanted

Album: single release only (2019)
Charted: 3 8
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  • Written by Billie Eilish with her brother Finneas, this was inspired by a nightmare the singer had one night. In her dream, Eilish killed herself by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge only to witness her friends, work colleagues and fans ignore her demise. She woke up with the feeling that despite achieving "everything I wanted," some still see her as disposable.

    Eilish turned to Finneas for support; he comforted his little sister, saying she should "change the way that you see yourself" and "they don't deserve you."
  • I had a dream
    I got everything I wanted
    But when I wake up, I see
    You with me

    The heartfelt song showcases Billie's strong bond with Finneas; her brother has been a steady source of support and encouragement throughout the teenage singer's life. She explained to BBC Radio 1's Annie Mac:

    "The message behind the song is like my brother is my best friend, and I have these dreams and these things happen, and no matter what happens, he's gonna always be there for me, and it's the same the other way around."
  • Billie Eilish wrote the woozy song with Finneas at their home studio in Highland Park, California, and on tour. Finneas also took care of the production and sang the backing vocals.
  • The single's artwork is by UK-based painter Jason Anderson. It depicts an abstract painting of the Golden Gate Bridge.
  • Billie Eilish literally recorded one of the song's lines underwater.

    I tried to scream
    But my head was underwater

    She told Zane Lowe on Beats 1: "It was like, you can't not. We were sitting there like, 'My head was underwater,' and we were like, 'Wait, wait. This is our chance.'"
  • Billie Eilish recalled in a Beats By Dre video that it was Finneas who came up with the original idea; he suggested the line, "As long as I'm here, no one can hurt you." Using that lyric as the starting point, the siblings decided to make it about their relationship; how they help each other and deal with things together.

    Eilish added: "It just completely like paved the way for the rest of the song."
  • Finneas and Billie called the song "Nightmare" for a while, before settling on the "Everything I Wanted" title.
  • The song's music video shows Billie Eilish and Finneas cruising in a car. When Billie drives the vehicle into the ocean, we see them holding hands as they slowly sink under. Directed by the singer, the clip is a portrayal of sibling love. "My brother and I wrote this song about each other and I wanted to create a visual that emphasizes that no matter what, we'll be there for each other through everything."

    The video was the second one directed by Eilish, following her clip for "Xanny."
  • Billie Eilish and Finneas started composing the song soon after her dream. However, their other family members were concerned about Eilish writing about her depressed feelings. "It was so intense, and because of that we didn't write the rest of it for like probably half a year," she told the Song Exploder podcast.

    Eilish and Finneas revisited the tune on tour once her mental health improved. It was then they came up with the chorus about their sibling relationship and how they "pulled each other out of dark places."
  • This won for Record Of The Year at the Grammy Awards in 2021, and Eilish performed it with Finneas at the ceremony. Eilish, who won four Grammys the previous year, used her acceptance speech to tell Megan Thee Stallion that she deserved the award for "Savage."

    "You deserve this," she told Megan. "You had a year that I think is untoppable. You are a queen, I want to cry thinking about how much I love you."

Comments: 1

  • Warmfart from PhillyI had wanted some chocolate milk and went to Walmart singing this song, I didn't get the milk and ended up getting a small bags of cheese cubes and some pringles, this reminds me of not getting everything I wanted and I can understand how Billie feels about that.
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