Slow Suicide

Album: Proof of Life (2013)
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Songfacts®:

  • Scott Stapp's slow suicide was his self-destructive behavior in the years after Creed became one of the most successful bands in America. He became dependent on drugs and alcohol, culminating in a 40-foot fall from a hotel room in Miami after a bout of paranoia.

    The first track on his second solo album, it finds Stapp looking back on this time and putting it behind him.
  • In our 2013 interview with Scott Stapp, he said that the Proof of Life album was his best body of work. Said Stapp: "I'm the most content that I've ever been in my 40 years on this Earth and the happiest and the most full of just peace and joy than I've ever been. And I think life reflects art, art reflects life. Just being able to make a record from an organic place, from a place of inspiration and a place free of any negativity or any forcing, brought out the best in me as an artist."
  • Stapp was encouraged by his producer Howard Benson to simplify and clarify his lyrical ideas for Proof of Life. He explained: "I've always been heavy on metaphor and symbols, even to where I might hide behind fanciful language. Howard helped me get straight to the point."

    Stapp's new approach to writing lyrics is highlighted on this song. "The point is that for years I was slowly killing myself," he said. "Drugs and booze want to kill you instantly, but they're patient and will take their time. The same is true of toxic relationships. I had to start off this story by declaring the most obvious of truths: that I had been torturing and poisoning myself in an attempt to snuff out my soul."
  • The song's music video was directed by Andrew Gant and shot in an old abandoned Los Angeles hospital. The clip draws from real life. "It's an autobiography exactly as it happened," admitted Stapp to Fuse TV. "There's no embellishment; if anything, it's toned down from reality. It was a real cathartic experience. I got to see what alcohol and drugs did to me, but I got to see it from a clear place shooting this video. I got to sit back and say, 'My god, my wife and my family were in the hospital and I looked like that [in real life].' The other scenarios were all me bringing closure to my life."
  • Stapp told the story of the song to Artist Direct: "I was with a friend of mine named Scott Stevens, formerly of The Exies, a rock band out of Los Angeles. We were jamming and sitting around with acoustic guitars. Nothing had been written for my record. I was thinking of how I wanted this album to start. I wanted to come right out at the top and address, for my perspective, honestly, what I had been doing to myself for a period of years. I wanted to open the door in the chorus to the realization that had brought me out of it. It was a way for me to confront the detractors with truth and honesty about myself and also tell my fans, 'Hey, if you've ever had any questions, this is what's been going on!'"

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