The Mayor of Bayswater has got a lovely daughter
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

If she was my daughter I'd cut them a little shorter
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

I've felt it, I've smelt it, it's just like a piece of velvet
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

I've seen it, I've seen it, I've been in between it
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

It would take a coal miner to find her vagina
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

She married an Italian with balls like a bloody stallion
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

She lived in a lighthouse which was more like a f--king shitehouse
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

Her mum came from Glanmorgan and had a c--t like a barrel organ
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way

She slept with a demon who washed her with semen
And the hairs on her dicky di do hang down to her knees

One black one, one white one
And one with a bit of shite on
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way Lyrics from a song in Public Domain